Movie Report: "Raiders of the Lost Ark"

Quite possibly the best B-movie ever made.

My sweetie got me DVDs for Christmas, including the complete "Indiana Jones" box set, which I had been coveting for a long time. So of course we had to pop the first one in the player.

This movie owes his heart and soul to the old serials of the '30s and '40s, with rugged heroes, beautiful girls, dastardly villains and plenty of fantastic stunts and cliffhangers. I adore pulp adventures -- speaking of which, are you reading the Athena Voltaire comics? You should be.

This is a flick I can watch over and over and *always* enjoy it. Flawless cast, flashy special effects, beautiful sets, strong pacing and lots of quotable lines. The music score by John Williams is a part of American culture now -- is there anyone who doesn't know that tune?

"Star Wars" may have made Harrison Ford a star, but fighting Nazis as Indiana Jones made him immortal. I can't wait until the fourth movie is released.

Anyone know where I can pick up the DVDs of the "Young Indiana Jones Chronicles" cheap?

Movie Report: "The Chronicles of Riddick"

This 2004 movie has got a lot of haters, but I like it.

I don't know what people were expecting, but what they got is a very underrated, very solid sci-fi/action flick with an epic, "Conan" vibe. OK, so Thandie Newton's performance, and her costumes were over the top. Get over the frosted eyeshadow -- it can't hurt you.

Good action, good fight scenes and good performances. Riddick is Vin Diesel's signature role, and he's perfect for it. And dang -- Judi Dench? You can't dis a movie with Judi Dench in it!

I like the Necromongers too -- good nasty villains, with a side of religious zealotry. I like the face motifs in their armor, and the crazy gothic look of their technology. Vakko needed a brain transfusion, though -- maybe his wife picked him *because* he was strong and stupid.

But maybe I like any movie where someone gets killed with a teacup.

If you are a "Riddick" hater, there's a good chance you've never even seen it. Or if you have, you brought all your "Vin Diesel is teh suxx0r!" preconceptions with you.

Clear your mind, grab some popcorn, and put this in the DVD player. Just enjoy the ride.

I bet you'll like it.

Movie Report: "Pan's Labyrinth"

Subtitle alert! This film is in Spanish. If you are one of the plebs who's too lazy to follow along with a film that's not in your native language, please move along now. I hear "Epic Movie" is playing.

I'm becoming quite the fan of director Guillermo del Toro.

He made a clunker like "Mimic" suck less than it should have, made "Blade 2" a bit odd but still pretty good, and I liked "Hellboy" quite a bit. Now "Pan's Labyrinth" shows he can do serious work.

A bittersweet faerie tale, this is part historical drama, part family melodrama, and part fantasy. That's a tough balance, but del Toro pulls it off nicely.

The child actress playing Ofelia has to carry the movie -- if she doesn't work, none of it does. And she moves from heavy drama to clinging to her mother's skirts to being the princess that saves the world with ease. Even more impressive are the actors that play the Captain and Mercedes, the housekeeper/revolutionary. The Captain is both horrific and sympathetic, and Mercedes gives the film an emotional center.

And it's surprising how well the fantasy elements fit into a tale of the Spanish Civil War -- it's a juxtaposition I would have never thought of. The set design, costumes and effects are spectacular -- and I'm pleased that the faeries were much more nature spirit than "poofy pretty things in pink glitter."

Moving, marvelous and very intense and violent -- as faerie tales should be.

Comic Report: Runaways: Escape to New York

Ahh, teenage hormones. Is Karolina into Niko? Is Niko into Karolina, but just won't admit it? Why is Niko kissing Chase? Who's the new guy ... I mean girl ... digging Karolina? Did Chase cap a guy?

OK, yeah, there are two story arcs in this digest, one dealing with a dangerous alien invading Los Angeles, another with the return of Cloak (Molly gets a great scene with Wolverine in this one), but really, this is all about the drama. And it's good drama.

Lots and lots of fun.

Movie Review: "Casablanca"

I hesitate to even mention this movie, because what can I say that hasn't already been said?

"Casablanca" is practically perfect. The consummate Hollywood film. The uber movie. Books have been written about how wonderful it is.

And they're right. I've seen this movie more than twenty times, and it gets me every time. It's That Good.

And if you haven't seen it, you are a hopeless cultural illiterate. Begone from my sight. Do not return until you have gone to the video store and returned with a copy of sheer greatness.

If I have to critique anything, I'll do the DVD extras. The film commentary by the historian is boring, the one by Roger Ebert less so. The 1980s biography of Humphrey Bogart is pretty good, and I'm always happy to see Lauren Bacall. And there's Bugs Bunny.

"Here's looking at you, kid."

Book Report: Wild Cards 1

As if I didn't spend enough time reading comic books ... ;)

The Wild Cards series is made up of predominantly "Mosaic Novels", meaning that each novel is comprised of short stories written by different writers, each from the point of view of their own characters in the Wild Cards universe, but all the short stories taken together comprise one whole META-story, if you will. It's a cool concept, and one that gives the series several sets of fresh eyes and fresh ideas.

The basic concept: In 1946, an alien virus is released over New York City. The vast majority of people infected draw "jokers" -- either they die (sometimes horribly) or their mutated into bizarre, disfigured forms. A rare few become "Aces," superpowered humans who will be deified and reviled in turn.

A great pulp feel and lots of action characterize most of the stories, which have an underlay of some of the more tumultuous times in recent American history. I also love that this series rose from the authors' role-playing games -- gives me some hope for all the energy and creativity I pour into mine.

There's a lot of set-up and introductions in this book, as is to be expected. Some of the introductions don't seem to go anywhere (The Long, Dark Night of Fortunato), and some are bloody brilliant (Sleeper). The tragic romance of Tachyon and Brain Trust and the fall of the Four Aces are heartbreaking. Puppetman is just plain scary.

I'm looking forward to the rest of the series -- we've got the history. Now what's the future?

Anime Report: Ai Yori Aoshi: My Dearest

Episodes 6-10. There is loads and loads of fan service.

These are the kinds of stories that are common to harem anime -- Taeko is hired to be the housekeeper, but she's a hopeless klutz. Aoi has to save the day.

There's a trip to a hot springs -- but Taeko can't find the inn, and then she has booked for the wrong year. Aoi has to save the day! (I sense a theme)

Tina is a boozing, boob-grabbing lush in this episode -- interesting how she's one of the main "love interests," but also one of the most annoying characters.

Then Tina buys an adorable fuzzy ferret, and it destroys the house. Miyabi has a meltdown. In the end, cuteness saves the day, and Miyabi and the ferret learn to love one another.

When Tina and Kaoru are left alone in the mansion, you start to see the first glimpses of Tina being more than an ugly American stereotype. You learn how and why she and Kaoru met, and how much she admires Aoi and Miyabi.

"The landlord and manager put your heart at ease. They don't look at me funny 'cause I'm American, and when I'm in trouble, they actually worry about me. It's just like a real family. Miss Landlady's really nice and can do any household chore. That's you'd call a traditional Japanese beauty. I wanted to be born Japanese just like Miss Landlady. If I had been..."

In the last episode, Aoi (Lady Owie -- stupid dubbing!) wants to learn more about Kaoru's life at college, so she pays him a surprise visit -- and finds out that in many ways, she doesn't fit in his world.

Sugar sweet, and worth a watch. But I've lost count of the number of people who've ended up sleeping in Kaoru's bed.

Anime Report: Ai Yori Aoshi: Faithfully Yours

It wasn't enough to make you read about the manga -- I bought the anime!

Bwaahahhahahahahahaha! My evil plan comes to fruition!

The first episodes of the anime focus almost entirely on Aoi and Kaoru, and is a sweet, romantic tale of two lonely people finding happiness and being willing to fight to keep it.

Kaoru is a lovable nerd, Aoi a sweet doormat who lives to serve her man. "When I think of him, I am truly grateful that I was born in this world," Aoi tells Kaoru before she realizes who he is. And he better be grateful -- she's the best thing that's ever happened to him.

If it's possible, Aoi is even cuter in the anime than she is in the manga -- she's drawn with such big eyes and perfect features she reminds me of a muppet. Miyabi and Taeko are cute, too.

I love the big fat cat who lurks around the mansion that Aoi talks to sometimes -- that's new. I don't love that Tina gets the biggest hick accent imaginable and there's *fiddle* music playing when she's introduced.

There's one *huge* problem with this anime, though, and it's in the English dub. They misprounce Aoi's name, making it sound like "Owie." As in, "I dropped a hammer on my foot, and how I have an owie." It grates on me every time her name is said -- if you're gonna keep the names, learn how to flipping pronounce them!

Comic Report: Runaways: True Believers

I'm gonna have to go on some sort of blogging marathon to get caught up. So let's see how many reviews I can get done this week. Ready? Go!

The Pride is gone -- now there's a power vacuum in Los Angeles, and all sorts of supervillians are looking for some loot in La La Land. (Hiya, Wrecking Crew!) The only people who can stop them? The Runaways.

But they've got some problems of their own. Niko has taken over as team leader, and she's not completely comfortable in the role. They're still wanted by the authorities. I don't think their new lair under the La Brea Tar Pits gets HBO. Oh, and a time-travelling Avenger shows up, says she's Gert from the future, and that they have to find a kid named Victor Mancha and stop him from growing up to destroy the planet.

This was a great storyline. Every time I think I had things figured out, a new twist got thrown in the mix. The baddie ... great to see him again. And I like Victor a lot.

A new group of former D-list teen heroes turned support group is also on their tail -- looking to "save" the kids from their life. This group is funny and sad in a 12-step way. I like the idea that not everyone is cut out for the life -- I dislike it when people try to enforce their morality on others. Go whine about your problems, Excelsior -- don't make trouble for anyone else.

This series just keeps getting better.

Comic Report: She-Hulk: Single Green Female

I'd heard some good things about the She-Hulk comics, and since I'm fond of titles like Ultra that delve more into supes' private lives, I picked up the first trade.

She-Hulk's not having a good time at the beginning. She loses her job, gets kicked out of the Avengers' Mansion, and even gets dumped by an underwear model for being "too shallow." Girl needs an intervention.

When her new boss insists he's hiring Jennifer Walters the lawyer, and not She-Hulk the hero, she's got to learn how to go through life without being green and invulnerable all the time.

The stories in this are fun and engaging -- a superpowered "Ally McBeal" that deals with Jennifer's job at a top "supernatural law" firm.

She's got some great cases in the first issues -- a man suing the company responsible for the accident that turned him into a superhero and a ghost that wants to testify at his own murder trial. An issue that has Spider-Man suing J. Jonah Jameson for libel seems more like an issue of Spider-Man with a She-Hulk cameo, though -- we barely see her. And while the Southpaw story line has its interesting points, I found myself disliking the annoying brat who's been dumped into Jen's lap.

There's lots of fun comic fan shoutouts, too -- my favorite is old FF foe the Awesome Android, who's now a gofer for Jen's law firm named "Awesome Andy."

The biggest problem -- the art. While the cover art is great, the interior art by Juan Bobillo makes She-Hulk look like Shrek. In a leotard. That's ... unfortunate.

I've heard there's a change in artists later, and I hope its so. But until then, the stories will keep me reading, but the art is weak enough that I'm only buying the trades.

Movie Report: "Happy Feet"

So ... pieloving ... cute!!!! Squee!

OK, so the story is your standard "cuddly animals go on a quest" mixed with "An Inconvenient Truth." But it's just so adorable! And Prince wrote a song for it. How cool is that?

Mumble is a emperor penguin who can't sing, which is a huge problem, since they find their mates by singing. But Mumble's gotta dance. There's the "be yourself" plotline standard to these movies. Let's move on.

With an all-star voice cast, there were really no misses. Hugo Weaving wasn't given much to do as the leader of the penguins' bizarre shamantic religion. Hugh Jackman turns in his best Elvis imitation as Memphis, and Nicole Kidman coos like Jessica Rabbit as the babelicious penguin Norma Jean. Brittney Murphy is the weakest link as Mumble's love interest. I wonder who they got to do her singing?

Robin Williams, who plays two parts, runs away with the movie. That's to be expected.

I didn't find the environmental message too heavy-handed, although I did feel terrible about what we stoopid humans are doing to the planet. Poor penguins. I also felt I should go back and watch "March of the Penguins," because I think this movie assumed everyone had.

Lots of songs, lots of dancing, an overabundance of adorable.

Movie Report: Grendel

This movie sucks. It sucks so bad that it was on the Sci-Fi Channel. It sucks so bad there wasn't even a graphic on imdb.com for me to steal for this review.

In fact, it sucks so bad the only thing good to come out of it are blogs about how bad it sucks.

How does it suck? Let me count the ways.

• Even though the plot does follow the poem fairly well, I'll wager that the screenwriter has never read the source material. He might have picked up the Cliff's Notes at Borders.
• Marina Sirtis is in it. There's a sure sign of suckitude. She plays Queen Oneda, and she's crazy. Apparently, crazy means you apply layers of blush with a trowel. Crazy also comes and goes, because sometimes she acts reasonably sane. At no point does Sirtis act well.
• Beowulf has an annoying blond teenage sidekick, who has a equally annoying blonde girlfriend named Ingrid. They are nothing but pointless time fillers and kidnap bait.
• The script is straight out of a video game, complete with cut scenes. "Congratulations, Beowulf! You have defeated a giant snake! Now you must go to the land of the Danes and defeat Grendel. To do this, you will need Special Weapon X. Be sure to remember to collect gems for more life points!"
• The script also has such lines as "His Queen (dramatic pause) was a woman (dramatic pause) of great beauty." And "His sons (dramatic pause) were boys." So the king's wife was a woman and his sons were boys? Glad to know that.
• There's a big-ass crossbow looking thing that fires explosive bolts, usually in slow motion. It's got a scope (I'm not kidding, ya'll) and yet Beowulf misses almost every shot he takes with it.
• Heorot Hall looks very Roman. Beowulf's ship is kinda pirate looking. And everyone looks stupid in their horned helmets.
• The vast majority of the budget was spend on the special effects for the monsters, and they aren't that good.
• The "dark secret" of the Danes was pointless, confusing and pretty damn stupid.

While the movie was laugh-out-loud funny in multiple points (unintentionally, of course) it did nothing but suck.

How did it end? I don't know. I assume Beowulf got ahold of Special Weapon Y and killed Grendel's mother (called Hag in this flick) but I got bored and wandered off about a half-hour before it ended.

"Chupacabra: Dark Sea" was a masterpiece in comparison. And it had a poster!

TV Report: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Season Two

Wow. And I thought Season One was good.

Season Two of Avatar builds on a solid foundation, adding another master bender to the crew. Toph cracks me up, she is *seriously* powerful, and she just happens to be blind. Yet the show doesn't feel the need to do the "Look! She's Handicapable!" nonsense that most American animation would do -- thank the dieties.

And for everyone who thought the Earth Kingdom were the good guys? Think again. The dark machinations at the heart of the kingdom are exposed, and some superb voice work by Clancy Brown adds a sinister edge to the Earth King's adviser.

Season Two also adds Zuko's sister as the new "big bad," if you can call her that. She and her two sidekicks are deliciously despicable -- she's lots of fun to hate.

And there are hints of what's to come, and a chance for Aang and his crew to win the war. Maybe.

Not a bad episode in the bunch. Uncle Iroh is, once again, charming and wise, and continues to be my favorite character.

I can't believe they're going to make me wait until July for new episodes.

I Made It! Cabled Bobble Headband

Lookie! Cables! And big poofy pom-poms, too!

I've been wanting to take the next step in my knitting, beyond the basic stitches. With dreams of beautiful Aran sweaters dancing in my head, I decided I wanted to learn how to do cables.

So when I was flipping through the winter 2006 issues of Interweave Knits for the 30th time, I decided this pattern looked easy enough to try.

One skein of Caron Felt-It (on sale for three bucks!) and a cable needle later, and I made a cable! Go me!

OK, so the color is a little bright. What can I say? It was cold, grey and nasty outside, and ... three bucks! And the pom-poms ... yes, the last time I checked I'm not fourteen years old. Ooops.

You'll pry my Hello Kitty gear out of my cold, dead fingers, though -- I don't care how old I get.

So it's not exactly my style, but it was a fun, fast knit and I learned something. I'll give it to someone. Rosebride says she wants to wear it, but since she refused to let me take her picture in it, Hope Bear must do the modeling honors.

TV Report: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Season One

I blame this one on my friend Wendy.

Wendy started watching Avatar with her kids. Then she started collecting it. She mentioned it to Rosebride, who has an *obsession* with downloading stuff off BitTorrent.

So Rosebride downloaded all the episodes, burned a great big stack of DVDs, made my poor DVD player weep for mercy and ultimately give up the ghost testing said DVDs, and pestered me until I watched 'em all.

For a while, I couldn't walk into my living room without hearing "Wanna watch some Avatar?"

But, I guess it all worked out in the end (except for my broken DVD player), because this show rocks. It's the best American animation since "Gargoyles."

In a story with liberal Asian overtones (Korean in particular), the four elemental kingdoms have been at war for 100 years, with the Fire kingdom being the biggest aggressor. The only one who can stop the war is the Avatar, a human with mystical power who can control all the elements.

The problem? The Avatar is a goofy 12-year-old kid, and he's been missing for a century. Two teenagers from the Water Tribe (think Eskimos) find him frozen in a giant block of ice, and accompany the Avatar on his quest to come into his full power and stop the war.

Tremendous voice acting, a deep and intricate plot, spectacular action scenes, fantastic animation and music -- there is *nothing* about this show that is not top-notch.

I like that the Fire nation characters are given depth and not just portrayed as "bad guys." I find the deposed prince, Zuko, to be a very sympathetic character, even though he's supposed to be the main villain of the season. His uncle, Iroh, is by far my favorite character on the show. (And was brillantly voiced by Mako until his death.)

I'm also entertained by the number of times the kids lie, cheat and steal to obtain their objectives. Avatar is surprisingly free of "kids show" moral messages.

I'm an official fan -- I can't wait until Nickelodeon starts airing new episodes later this year. And I'm going to buy it on DVD -- Rosebride's homemade DVD's are OK, but not worthy of this wonderful show.

My Birthday Wish List

OK -- so I've been really distracted for the past week.

I can't exactly explain why -- it's complicated. But 2007 started out pretty crappy -- I've got a lingering cough that won't go away, the fraggin' DVD player broke again (that's the second one in a month), I've got issues that don't seem to have a resolution and no one gave me a pony for Christmas.

Last week, something happened that could bring a little sunshine into it all.

Now, I'm not going all emo and saying I hate my life and everything -- I've got a husband I absolutely adore who makes me very happy, friends, family, cute cats, yarn, "Buffy" DVDs ... there's lots of things to be happy about.

That doesn't mean there aren't things I wouldn't change.

And to stop rambling and give this post a point, my birthday is coming up in a few weeks. Here's what I want in 2007, in no particular order. Start shopping now. :-)

1. A job where my ideas are appreciated, my humanity is respected and my intelligence is of use. I want to be creative and useful again.

2. To see something beautiful, up close and personal.

3. To stand in the shadow of a mountain. Or in a forest so thick it blocks out the light.

4. To eat an ice cream cone while I wiggle my toes in the ocean.

5. To go places that will engage my mind and relax my soul.

6. To wake up to the scent of flowers, and a view that will energize me for the entire day.

7. A picnic at a drive-in movie.

8. A Hello Kitty bike. Is this not the coolest bike ever?

9. The continued health and happiness of everyone dear to me.

10. A Creative Zen Vision. If I can't have that to block out the world, I'd like a way to make the annoying twit who sits by me at work shut the hell up for a few minutes.

11. Pocky. Lots and lots of Pocky. Milk-flavored Hello Panda, too. And vanilla lattes.

12. To feel beautiful.

I'm convinced this isn't too much to ask for ...

Best commerical ever!

And it covers my Bruce Campbell quota for the week -- how can I lose?

Somehow I feel the need to buy a case of smelly aftershave now.

Movie Report: Deja Vu

Time travel is nothing but trouble, from a plotting standpoint. There's always going to be something that makes the viewer go "bullshit."

Hence I was hesitant to drop seven bucks on a matinee. But "Deja Vu" had Denzel Washington, Val Kilmer and was directed by Tony Scott. I really like "Man on Fire," which is another little-known Denzel Washington/Tony Scott movie. So eh -- there were worst things I could do with two and a half hours of my time.

Washington is playing another of his "I've got no life but my work" characters, this time an ATF agent investigating a devistating terror attack on a New Orleans ferry. Of course, he's got to become a little too obsessed with a pretty victim, and become personally involved in the case.

He comes to the attention of a super-secret government group that has found a way to peek backwards in time. They can catch the terrorist that way -- if you know where to look.

I was impressed that they managed to give a dumbed-down yet plausible explanation for the time travel, and it was even one that made the inevetitable inconsistencies make sense.

Pretty good action, engaging performances, big booms -- it's a good ride, but not a classic.

Movie Report: The Talented Mr. Ripley

When I'm in a quiet mood, I might turn to a movie like this 1999 psychological drama.

"Ripley" has been called a modern Hitchcock movie, and I'm inclined to agree.

The scenery and late 1950s setting are beautiful, and the performances nuanced and delicate. Matt Damon turns in one of his best performances as Ripley, who is a poor schlub, then human leech, and then psychotic, amoral, powerful, charming, mad, chilling and sympathetic all in one role. It's a tribute to his ability that he's able to pull it all off -- the movie would have collapsed without it.

Jude Law brings movie idol looks and a blase attitude to the key role of Dickie, the spoiled American playboy Ripley is sent to Italy to bring home. Ripley slides into a adoration that evolves into a homoerotic obsession with Dickie. When he can't have his love, Ripley wants his life -- he'll become Dickie.

Cate Blanchett and Gwyneth Paltrow aren't given much to do besides be clueless and/or crazy, but they do their best. Any movie is made better by Cate Blanchett's presence.

The ending is sad and unsettling, but this movie does the almost impossible -- it improves upon the original source material.

I read Patricia Highsmith's novel after seeing "Ripley" for the first time, and found it cold, detached and uninvolving -- a case study of the psychopath, about as sympathetic and engaging as a crime scene report. The movie, while never leading you to the point where you *understand* what Ripley does, nonetheless makes him an object of tragedy and pity. More human, and therefore more involving.

I will rarely say this, but skip the book. Watch the movie.

Manga Report: Ai Yori Aoshi 14

I have had a request for "less anime, and more Bruce Campbell."

I'll take that under advisement. But for now, I'm sticking to the list of reviews I have to catch up on, and there's some manga and anime on it. My apologies.

And break out the confetti, because something *actually* happens in this volume!

Unlike most shojo mangas, which go on and on and on with no change in the base situation, Ai Yori Aoshi has wrapped up a plotline! Woo hoo!

In the abandoned school in Kyushu, Tina admits to Kaoru that she loves him -- and that she's been in love with him for years. It was her fear of revealing her feelings that prompted her to run away before.

But Tina knows she's lost Kaoru -- she's seen how he is with Aoi, and knows that the two of them have something she can't intrude upon. But if he's with someone that makes him happy, she can get over him and be happy too.

This is a sweet and touching scene with some real emotion to it. You have to admire Tina's guts for being able to do what all these other girls haven't -- 'fess up to Kaoru. And you get the real feeling that this is wrapped up, it's done, and these characters can move on.

I could have done without the whole "take naked pictures of me" bit, though.

Aoi gets to be more human too, as the amounts of time Kaoru is spending with Tina have *finally* made her jealous and angry. She and Tina have a confrontation, Aoi tells Tina that she's in love with Kaoru, and they come to an understanding. Nice to see a group in a manga like this act like grownups.

Tina and Mayu have a night out, and you can tell they have a bond, even if they're complete opposites. Tina also admits to the group that she's moving back to America, and with that, I have a feeling we'll be seeing less of her in the last few volumes. What else is there to say?

A chapter with Chizuru falling for a teacher at her school is mostly "meh," just because I don't have any attachment to the character.

But one of the best volumes in the series, and a turning point for the story. A news flash on the last page means there's more big changes to come.

Comic Report: Runaways: The Good Die Young

Wow -- a lot happened in this volume.

We learn the history of the Pride and their ultimate plans for the world, and boy, is it a doozy.

And the only hope for the planet is this bunch??

The team has a final, intense and emotional showdown with their parents in an underwater base. The mole is revealed, and I was caught *completely* by surprise -- that is *not* who I thought was betraying the team.

The motivations are believable, and the kids' being torn at having to fight their parents to the death was completely understandable. I would have liked to have had more pages of that final fight and the dialogue of the parents and the kids -- our mole got way too much space to explain what he/she'd done. But Molly got a great moment, as did Chase, and I loved it.

Now that their reason for being a superteam is gone, what now?

Movie Report: "XXX"

Get your minds out of the gutter!

It was interesting to re-watch this 2002 flick after watching "Casino Royale," because "XXX" is such classic American action -- guns, girls, bikes and fast cars set to a backdrop of big booms.

And it deliberately skewers the James Bond style in one of the film's best scenes, declaring "this ain't your daddy's movie" to a Rammstein beat. Then it blows some more shit up.

Movies like this are comfort food for me -- turn your brain off and enjoy the ride. I picked it up on DVD after realizing I'd watched it a half a dozen times on cable "eh, it's 2 a.m. and nothing's on. I'll watch XXX again."

That Corvette base jump is cool as heck, ya'll!

I like Vin Diesel. He's got an awesome voice and a lot of potential as an actor, and seems not to want to do the same stupid shit over and over -- as shown by the fact that he wasn't in the sequels to this and "Fast and the Furious."

And, of course, there's Samuel L. Jackson. Give the movie two more points.

My biggest problem with this movie is it falls into the Hong Kong movie trap of "that stunt was sooo cool, we'll show it again from six different angles!" Yeah, the motorcycle jump through the barbed wire with the big explosion rocked. It wasn't as cool the fourth time.

You could do worse than "XXX" when it's 2 a.m. and nothing's on.

You Knit What? Indian Summer Collar

Do I wear it or hang it on my door? Is it a leftover prop from a wacky high-school production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream"? Are those feathery things alive?

Inquiring minds must know!

I'm normally a fan of Magknits, but boy -- this one is *out* there. It's like if all those Red Hat ladies came together and created a Frankenstein's monster of fashion that is part scarf, part middle school leaf collection and all icky. It's the worst of the plastic canvas, creepy doll-head old lady crafts ... but you're supposed to wear it. On purpose.

If you want it, you can find it here. Elf shoes not included.

Movie Report: "Casino Royale"

I'll admit it -- I was one of the skeptics.

A blonde Bond? A poker-playing Bond? WTF?

But this movie straight up rocks. One of the best action flicks I've seen in a *long* time, and a certain add to my DVD library.

From a rough, heart-pounding opener to the bittersweet ending, Daniel Craig's Bond is unpolished, unfussy and and most importantly, extrememly dangerous. He makes Pierce Brosnan's Bond, whom I liked, look like an overly-comedic poser.

This Bond is a killer. It just so happens that he's on the "good" side. Craig actually looks like he'd love to off someone. Anyone.

He also seems to have a strange detachment from the rest of humanity, treating women like toys. It makes him colder than the love-'em-and-leave-'em Bond of before. You wonder if he enjoys his time with them at all, or if he's romancing them because he's supposed to want to do so.

And this is a young Bond -- he's still uncomfortable with high-class life. You get the idea he's drinking martinis just because he'd feel stupid ordering a beer (although in one scene he's drinking unidentifiable brown stuff). He crashes a classic Aston-Martin driving like an idiot. He looks about as comfortable as a high schooler at the prom in his tuxedo. Those elements of the classic Bond are gone.

The only thing that doesn't work for the young Bond are Daniel Craig's eyes. He's younger than other actors to play the part -- only 38 -- but his eyes are old and life-worn. He looks like he's one hit job from chucking it all and opening a bar somewhere, not like a spy at the beginning of his career.

But overall a most satisfying movie, and it will rank right up there with my favorites in the series -- if not the best one yet. As long as Bond *never* ever drives a Ford again. My sweetie and I both cringed when we saw that.

James Bond does *not* drive American.

Movie Report: "It's a Wonderful Life"

I was slacking a bit this Christmas. We chilled on the movie watching for a bit on Christmas Eve, and popped in some "Robotech" instead.

This meant I didn't get to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" until Christmas night. And I still haven't gotten in a viewing of "A Lion in Winter." I'm such the slacker.

Now I give a lot of "heartwarming" movies a big thumbs down. I don't like the emotional manipulation that comes with a lot of "we're gonna make you cry" stories, especially those that do it intentionally. It goes back to modern moviemakers losing the gentle touch.

"Life," made in 1946, is a film intended to tug on the heart. It was even made by a film company that director Frank Capra created to produce "serious, meaningful" movies. This is the only film Liberty Films ever completed. So much for serious and meaningful.

Interestingly enough, the FBI at the time considered "Life" subversive and possible Communist propaganda.

But if you're going to have a one-hit wonder, "Life" ain't a bad one at all. There's a dark heart to the story -- George Bailey wants to die. He's spent his entire life sacrificing for everyone around him, he's given up every dream he ever had, and even that's not enough.

So if you're thinking its all fluffy angels and bells, watch it again. The sequence of Bedford Falls (Pottersville) without George is a American dream gone wrong -- Norman Rockwell in fishnets.

But that's consistant with a lot of Jimmy Stewart's post-WWII work. He jumps from "Mr. Smith goes to Washington" to movies about suicide and murder and insanity -- "Rope," "Vertigo," "The Man from Laramie."

But as "Life" spirals downward, you know it's going to rise up again, roller-coaster style with hope, happiness and goodwill toward all. And I like its theme of how everyone and everything is connected, and how what seems to be a small change has great effect.

Now, there is the racial and gender stereotyping that is typical of it's time period. (Annie has a couple cringe-worthy moments) If you can let those go, it's hard not to get wrapped up in this movie.

I Made It! The Christmas Edition

Isn't my tree pretty!


Every year, I say I'm not going to spend so much time making gifts, or that I'm only going to make gifts for the people who really appreciate something handmade and the time and care that goes into it.

Then December rolls around, and I'm baking, knitting, sewing, and crafting like an idiot. I'm a doofus. This year was no different.

So first up were about 25 dozen cookies, made with my mother-in-law and her sisters. We've still got some of those left -- want a ginger bar with cream cheese frosting?

Then the soap. This is just some of it -- between me, DR and Rosebride, we made about seven dozen bars, in addition to bath bombs, liquid soap, hand lotions, lotion bars (pie I love those) and other assorted goodies. These all went into gift sets for assorted friends and relatives, except for a few choice items I kept back for us.

Oh, and a large bottle of vanilla lotion went to work with me, in an effort to convince the annoying new girl to stop using hand cream that smells like VX nerve gas.

My original booga bag was so much fun to make that I wanted to make another one. And since everyone who saw it liked it (except for J-Man -- he's a crafta hata) it became the gift of the season.

All of these are in various shades of Noro Kureyon. There was one for my mom, in earth tones.



One for my brother-in-law's stepdaughter (pseudo niece?) in dark pinks and purples. She's in eighth grade, she *loved* my bag, and I was just happy to find a gift I thought she'd want.



One for my sister-in-law, in green, red, blue and taupe.



And one for my mother-in-law, in greens and blues (this one was my favorite).



I thought I was done, but then I talked to my mom.

Now, when I started knitting, I sinned and made some scarves out of fun fur. I hated 'em -- looked like I'd skinned a muppet. One was white and feathery, and looked like I'd knitted a chicken. Not cool.

My mother, in an unfortunate lack of good taste, loved them. Loved them, wore them constantly, and treasured them to the point of making me fix the chicken one when it got snagged. I don't even pretend to understand -- it's a Mom thing.

But in the middle of December, she says "oh, wouldn't it be nice if you made a scarf for your Aunt Debbie! Fuzzy, in white or silver, and oh by the way -- I need it by Monday."

I should have said no. I should have run as far and as fast as I could. I should have thrown down my needles in defiance and shouted to the heavens "I am not murdering one more muppet for you!"

But I am a doofus. And instead, I grabbed a ball of Jo-Ann's Sensations Simple Elegance (light whisper) in Silver -- which is neither simple nor elegant, but rather full of *artistic* thick and thin bits and little things that my needles caught on constantly -- cast on 20 stitches, and started knitting a keyhole scarf in garter.

One ball wasn't enough, and so back I ran to the fabric store for more yarn for a crappy scarf I didn't want to knit in the first place. Finished it at 3:30 a.m., rolled it up, tied it with a spare bit of ribbon and called it done. Mom says my aunt liked it very much. All I know is that my puppet serial killing days are done.