Book Report: Mistral's Kiss

At this point, I'm actually embarrassed to say I read another "novel" by Laurell K. Hamilton. But I did. And I'm gonna own up to it, even.

The first thing that amused me about Mistral's Kiss was that it says "a novel" on the cover. As if there would be some confusion. Then again, based on the fact that I started this book at the hair salon and had gotten four-fifths through before my hair had renewed highlights and a trim, there might be some dispute about whether this is actually a novel, or just an overlong submission for an Internet forum.

Two hundred and twelve pages, and I'm damn glad it was on sale. Grumble, grumble ... stupid authors stretching out short stories to make a buck ...

Anyway ...

About two books ago, Merry and her cadre of hunks were "invited" to the Seelie Court. Two books ago. THEY ARE NOT THERE YET!

In the sweet name of pie, could this plot develop any slower? Seriously -- get on with it already!!!

So basically we get four extended scenes. Three of them are sex scenes. And while I complain at length about the ridiculous sex scenes in Hamilton's Anita Blake books, these are just comical.

I really enjoyed the idea of Meredith as a wayward faerie princess in the first novels, and the framework of a race to produce an heir to the Unseelie throne at least provided a reason for the frequent, lusty bedroom antics.

But now she's picked up so many men that the sex scenes are starting to resemble a Cecil B. DeMille movie -- a cast of thousands, and you don't even know all their names. There is absolutely no emotional intimacy -- how could there be? She's hardly been introduced to half these guys!

Sigh. I miss Doyle.

So let me wrap up this one for you.

Merry bangs half a dozen hot faerie men. Another lost artifact appears -- they're practically falling on Merry's head at this point. Every body gets more powerful because of the return of the chalice. They celebrate by having sex. Andais is cranky about Merry getting more power and filling the Unseelie halls with bunnies and sunshine, but because she's not sleeping with Meredith, she's really got no part in this book. So she lets Merry do whatever she wants.

Merry has sex with three more guys. Someone tries to attack her, although at this point I don't know why they bother, because she's just going to bang someone and get more power. Which she does. A couple of characters die, others get new powers -- it's really all just set up for Merry to sleep with someone else. Which she does. The Wild Hunt is released, which you'd think would be a big deal. But it's not. Everything is easily resolved, and they all live to hump another day.

Silly, silly, silly. This isn't suitable for anything other than beach or hair salon reading.