You Knit What? It's a Bloody Mess

Nothing says high fashion like a sweater shell that looks like it was knit out of strips of bloody paper towels.

Want to recycle? Wear bloody paper towels. Want to make a political statement? Bloody paper towels. Want clothing that is both scratchy and hideous?

Is there nothing bloody paper towels can't do?

And if you're wondering about what to wear with your plasma-drenched masterpiece, you can always go for the blood scarf, which is knitted from medical tubing filled with ... well, you know where this is going.

So what's worse -- the bloody sweater, or the plight of this poor woman, who has been coerced by some Bridezilla into knitting *legwarmers* out of the nasty stuff. For the bridesmaids to wear at the wedding. At the outdoor wedding that's being held in Missouri. In December.

That will be the classiest wedding since Britney Spears humped some guy's leg in Vegas.

If you really want to knit this -- and if you do, send me a picture -- you can find the shell pattern here.