Movie Report: "Miracle on 34th Street"

See, I'm not a complete holiday cynic!

Because this movie is for the believers. The people who still think there can be miracles, and believe in magic, and get a thrill from twinkle lights and new-fallen snow.

This 1947 classic hinges on faith, love, and the wisdom of simple things. And it has, like a lot of post-WWII movies, the idea that maybe children have the right idea about how the world should be, because adults have just mucked it up.

Speaking of mucking things up, I do have to point out that you should either watch the *original,* black-and-white version of this movie, or don't watch it at all. Ted Turner will burn in the special hell for putting his crayons on this film. Colorized movies .... grrrrr ....

Maureen O'Hara gets to play a no-nonsense working single mother 30 years before they were chic, and Natalie Wood handles the key role of Susan with gravity and sweetness. But it's Edmund Gwenn who steals the show (and won a much-deserved Oscar) as Kris Kringle. Without his gentle performance full of humor and charm, "Miracle" would have been quickly-forgotten fluff.

Weird trivia: William Frawley (Fred on "I Love Lucy") has small roles in both this and "It's a Wonderful Life," probably the two best-known holiday films ever.

I believe ... I believe. It's silly, but I believe.

Movie Report: "A Christmas Story"

You'll shoot your eye out!

C'mon -- you had to know I was going to include this one!

I used to think it's because I'm from the Midwest that I relate to this movie so much -- something about the whole look of the film, from the old houses to the rustbucket cars and slush on the streets, reminds me of home. But seeing as TBS can sell advertising to run this 1983 flick for 24 hours straight, I know it's not just a Midwest thing.

Do I even need to give you a rundown of the plot? Because seriously, if you haven't seen this movie, there is something *seriously* wrong with you. Seek help.

Nostalgic, funny and charming, Ralphie's yearning for a Red Ryder BB gun is the eternal quest of every kid wishing for the perfect Christmas, and every parent who wants to give that perfect Christmas to their child.

This is, flat-out, one of the best Christmas movies ever made, and it will always hold a special place in my heart.

It was Christmas 2003. My father had died a month before, which meant I was still reeling and as far from the Christmas spirit as you could get. Part of me wanted to chuck the whole holiday altogether.

Realizing that Christmas day was going to be sad and strange, and that nothing was going to feel like it should, my husband and I decided to mix it up a bit. Instead of having a big, awkward holiday dinner and feeling lonely, we picked up my mom and went cruising for an open Chinese restaurant. The holidays, "Christmas Story" style. Dad would have loved it, and it opened the door to let us smile a little.

I just wish I could have conned the waiter into singing.

Movie Report: "The Long Kiss Goodnight"

So help me, I liked Geena Davis as an action star. I even liked "Cutthroat Island."

I can't believe I just admitted that in public.

But knowing that, is it any surprise that I not only own this underrated 1996 movie, I count it among my holiday flicks?

Because it doesn't have to be warm and fuzzy to be Christmassy. Yeah, "Kiss" is cheesy and chock full of action movie cliches, including the ever-popular exploding windshields, but it's got snappy, funny dialogue, Samuel L. Jackson (which ratchets most movies up at least two points) and everyone seems to be having such a good time that the viewers do too.

Davis plays a schoolteacher with amnesia, whose forgotten black-book past comes back to haunt her. Jackson is the low-rent hood turned private dick trying to help her find out who she is.

If this movie were made today, it would be a $200 million big-budget show with Angelina Jolie in the lead. And while she could pull off the icy assassin with ease, I think she'd have a lot of trouble with the "frumpy schoolteacher" part of the role. Jackson would still be the borderline immortal Mitch -- no one else could do the role justice.

Fun, turn-your-brain-off action with a healthy sprinkle of Christmas carols and big red bows. Don't try to make it make sense -- just kick back and enjoy the ride.

We just jumped out of a building!

Yes, it was very exciting. Tomorrow we go to the zoo.

Movie Report: "Christmas Vacation"

You know you're getting old when you remember when Chevy Chase was funny.

And he's on in this 1989 movie, which has been one of my holiday favorites since it was released. Chase's Clark Griswold is a sweet, lovable Everyman. He just wants the best for his family and takes everything far too far.

In a charming script written by John Hughes (and I'm a child of the '80s, which means I like John Hughes' movies) Clark and his family have "an old-fashioned Griswold family Christmas," which means that everything from picking a tree to Christmas dinner will be a complete disaster. Add in yuppie neighbors, annoying in-laws and the drop-in guest from hell (Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie) and it is slapsticky, increasingly outrageous and full of heart and old-fashioned appeal. I even like the cheesy animated opening credits.

A wrap-around plotline of Clark worrying about his holiday bonus is mostly filler, but has a few good moments. This is not a movie one watches for the in-depth story.

Watching it again, I was impressed by how few dick and fart jokes there were. Sure, there were some, but for the most part, "Christmas Vacation" doesn't go for the cheapest of the cheap laughs -- they're too easy. At almost 20 years old, the laughs in this movie are as fresh and funny as when it first appeared -- how many of today's comedies are going to be able to top that?

Something to watch for -- the last film appearance by Mae Questel, who was the voice of Betty Boop in the 1930s.

It's not Christmas without "Christmas Vacation."

Movie Report: "The Ref"

So like I've said, I keep a list of things I need to review for the three of you who read this blog. (And I love all three of you!)

And every time I think I'm catching up, I spend a few days at home, or I watch a whole bunch of stuff at once, or I just don't feel like blogging for a day or ten. And my short list is a page long. Again.

So that's happened again, damn it all. But since I'm going to feel silly reviewing Christmas movies in the middle of January, I'm skipping ahead some. You're just gonna have to wait a bit for my eloquent musings about "Happy Feet."

I know it's tough, but try to buck up, little campers.

Just like there are movies I *must* watch every Halloween, there are movies I *must* watch every Christmas season. I can skip the egg nog, I only use candy canes for decoration, but if it's Christmas, I'm watching holiday movies. And this 1994 comedy was first into the DVD player.

A burglar is forced to take a bickering, disfunctional couple hostage on Christmas Eve. When the delinquent son and horrid in-laws show up, he's got to referee the fights, solve their problems and save Christmas -- suddenly twenty years in the slammer doesn't sound so bad.

You've got Denis Leary and Kevin Spacey -- hard to go wrong there. The movie's just funny as hell, and it's got classic line after classic line.

You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.

And it reminds me of what a lot of real holiday gatherings are like -- you're trapped, it's messy, troubled and full of hurt feelings, misunderstandings and people you're related to but don't particularily like.

Because what family doesn't have the crazy aunt trying to "find herself"? The delinquent kid? The couple who *hate* one another and are always fighting? The old bat/bastard everyone secretly despises?

Christmas ... a hostage situation. With pie.

/em looks around ... OK, maybe it's just me. But you can't tell me I'm the only one whose family discussed anti-depressant dosages, forced surrogate parenting or child abduction at Thanksgiving.

I am? ... Damnit.

Oh well -- my family's not big on the gathering in one place anymore, anyway. It's not good for the cosmic balance.

If the holidays make you a little crazy, try this movie. At least you'll know you're not alone.

TV Report: Elizabeth I

What would TV be without the premium channels?? A sad, dull little place.

Because this HBO miniseries is mad brilliant -- at least the first half.

Helen Mirren's queen is passionate, troubled and intense. It's been a good few years for Mirren and queens -- she's an Oscar favorite for playing another English Queen Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was in an impossible situation -- marry an Englishman, and the other nobles will reject one of their own being raised to such a high position. Marry France, and piss off Spain (and the English). Marry Spain, and piss off France (and the English). Her only option was to sacrifice herself for her throne.

The miniseries does a fine job of portraying Elizabeth's personal struggles, while glossing over most of the politics. Jeremy Irons as Robert Dudley was perfect -- old friends, old lovers -- he and Elizabeth were comfortable with one another. They fit. You could feel why she felt so betrayed when he wed, or why he was so hurt and angry when she courted the Duke of Anjou. They couldn't be with the person they loved, and they couldn't stand to see them with anyone else.

When Dudley leaves the scene is when the miniseries falters. Hugh Dancy was terrible as the Earl of Essex, Dudley's stepson and the queen's late-life paramour. He was oily and false, and his flattery and proclamations of love rang as silly as someone romancing their grandma. I couldn't see Elizabeth being taken in by this guy to the point of endangering her kingdom -- I could see her turning him over her knee and spanking the shit out the little twerp, because that's what I wanted to do. And his boyhood rivalry with Robert Cecil seemed like something out of a bad BBC soap.

Now, if they had gotten Jude Law to play Essex, I might have gone for that. But poor Mirren was left to carry the second half of the series completely on her own, and it was almost too much of a burden for anyone.

Movie Report: Collateral

I can forget all the Scientology and Katie nonsense when Tom Cruise actually tries to ... you know, act.

And films like this 2004 character study totally make up for at least 10 TomKat news reports. But not those stupid bangs he had in his wedding picture. Those were just wrong.

Anyway ...

Movies like this live or die on the strength of the actor's performances. No one in this movie disappoints. Jamie Foxx proves he's one of the best actors of his generation as a troubled, emotionally-stunted cab driver chasing dreams he's never going to realize. Cruise is calculating and professional as a killer on a deadline. He doesn't rationalize what he does, he just does it. And you can feel the power just beneath the surface ... a tiger on a tight leash. Jada Pinkett Smith has a thankless, throwaway role as the prosecutor who connects with Foxx's Max, but she at least tries.

Max does some exceptionally stupid stunts over the course of the evening, but you can see what he's thinking ... and on the edge of panic, some of those things probably sounded pretty smart. I found myself cheering for Vincent, though -- yeah, he's a heartless bastard, but you couldn't help liking him for it. He was completely honest about what he was.

And the scene with the jazz club owner ... damn, that's cold.

The only thing I didn't like was the ending -- I saw it coming from a mile away. Weak.

Manga Report: Ai Yori Aoshi 13

Hey, whatya know? There's a plot in here after all!

Tina invites the entire gang to visit her hometown in Japan, Kyushu, which is known for its hot springs.

Yeah, yeah, hot springs, manga ... there's gonna be fan service. A lot of it. It's pretty much non-stop fan service, in fact.

But if you can look past "Ooh, lets take a bath together! Giggle! Boobs!" there's a story here.

Aoi gets a little bolder and ends up in a romantic bath with Kaoru -- which is interrupted by Chika and her friends barging in. Chika hasn't admitted to her friends that Kaoru isn't her boyfriend yet ... because she wishes he was.

I can't get into this storyline, because I find Chika and her friends so amazingly useless. Once again, all they do is spoil something sweet.

The bigger deal is Mayu confronting Tina, her arch-rival. Mayu not only knows Tina's going back to America, she knows Tina's in love with Kaoru -- and she calls her out on her cowardice for not dealing with either issue.

Funny how the biggest rivals are also the best friends. They know each other better than anyone else can.

But things get uncomfortable when the group splits up to visit Kyushu's sights. Not only does poor Mayu get stuck with Chika and her friends, Tina corners Kaoru and asks him to take her on a date -- and treat her like she's his girlfriend.

In the abandoned remains of her elementary school, Tina's ready to reveal her heart ... and possibly a lot more.

Movie Report: "The Forgotten"

This 2004 movie almost got forgotten in the depths of my DV-R -- it had been hanging out there for months before I got around to watching it.

Julianne Moore, who usually has a good sense for scripts, plays a woman who can't get over the death of her young son.

OK, it's a grieving yuppie flick of the "I sit in my Range Rover and sip Starbucks and bemoan my terrible fate" variety. I consider seeing what's on Cartoon Network.

Eh, I hate "Ed, Edd and Eddy." Back to the movie.

About 10 minutes later, I'm thinking "grieving yuppie" is veering into "yuppie struggles with mental illness." OK, that could be more interesting, and now there's Gary Sinise, so that's cool.

Then Moore shows up on the doorstep of an alcoholic ex-hockey player, rips up his wallpaper and tells him he has a kid he doesn't remember. The funny thing is that not only does he not kick her out when he realizes he's not gonna score, he ends up buying this story and goes on the run with her.

Who are they on the run from? The NSA. Why does the NSA care? I don't know -- maybe dead kids are in the Patriot Act somewhere.

Then the movie makes a left turn right into "The X-Files."

I enjoyed the whole people getting sucked into the sky bit and the story was interesting, if pretty implausible. (Gary Sinise's big "revelation" killed it for me.) What I really didn't like was the ending -- it felt tacked on, it didn't fit the dark feel of the rest of the story and I have a feeling some lame studio executive said "make it happier!"

Not the best movie I've seen lately, but it was better than an "Ed, Edd and Eddy" marathon.

Comic Report: Runaways: Teenage Wasteland

Our would-be heroes have a secret base -- in a "Lost Boys" style hotel that's been heavily damaged by earthquakes. I kept expecting Kiefer Sutherland to round the corner.

But they're still on the run -- and due to the machinations of their parents, they're wanted for kidnapping and murder. So the superhero gig has to be put aside for more immediate concerns -- they need food, money, and they need to stay under the radar.

Along the way, they pick up a new recruit -- but really, is a convenience store stick-up the best place to find friends? I think they showed their inexperience here.

But there's a mole in the group -- and he/she is feeding information to The Pride. And what is Alex more concerned with -- keeping his team together, or keeping the new guy from kissing his girl?

An extended guest appearance by Cloak and Dagger (when was the last time you saw them?) and an impressive display by Molly (call her Princess Powerful!) cap off a fun story with "Buffy" style appeal.

Stay tuned -- I've already purchased Vol. 3.

Comic Report: The Very Best of Marvel

Another Half Price Books find, this 1991 graphic novel has a selection of Marvel's famed writers and artists picking their favorite stories.

The FF vs. Doom, Daredevil vs. Namor, The X-Men vs. Magneto -- for the most part these are classic smackdowns. A Fantastic Four story focusing on The Thing offers a nice counterpoint, and an early Spider-Man story where he crashes a party and battles the Human Torch is just fun.

A redone origin for Thor was a nice historic issue, but I'll stick with the Norse god version. But all all good, solid stories. Of course they are -- they're the "very best"!

A nice peek into Marvel's past.

You Knit What? It's a Bloody Mess

Nothing says high fashion like a sweater shell that looks like it was knit out of strips of bloody paper towels.

Want to recycle? Wear bloody paper towels. Want to make a political statement? Bloody paper towels. Want clothing that is both scratchy and hideous?

Is there nothing bloody paper towels can't do?

And if you're wondering about what to wear with your plasma-drenched masterpiece, you can always go for the blood scarf, which is knitted from medical tubing filled with ... well, you know where this is going.

So what's worse -- the bloody sweater, or the plight of this poor woman, who has been coerced by some Bridezilla into knitting *legwarmers* out of the nasty stuff. For the bridesmaids to wear at the wedding. At the outdoor wedding that's being held in Missouri. In December.

That will be the classiest wedding since Britney Spears humped some guy's leg in Vegas.

If you really want to knit this -- and if you do, send me a picture -- you can find the shell pattern here.

Comic Report: The Big Fat Kill (Sin City, Book 3)

Guns, lovers, losers and surprises ... damn I love Sin City.

If you've seen the movie "Sin City" (and if you haven't go watch it today) you've seen this story -- Dwight comes back to town with a new face and a murder rap hanging over his head. A run-in with a drunken abusive boyfriend leads to a lot more trouble than he needs.

We get to see some old friends again -- Gail, Shellie, Manute, and of course, deadly little Miho, who I just *adore.* One question -- where do Gail and Miho keep all those weapons in those outfits?

I love the idea of Old Town -- a distinct switch from the "women as victim" cliche. They'll kiss you or kill you -- and you'll love every minute of it. Dwight's keeping the demon in him in check ... but just barely. Irish terrorists and a showdown in a dinosaur graveyard add a surreal element.

Smoking action and art and prose that blend into a narrative written with gunpowder and blood -- the Sin City stories keep building into a dark world you can lose yourself in.

Manga Report: Boogiepop Doesn't Laugh 1

Boogiepop may be a powerful shinigami sent to protect a school plagued by a serial killer -- or he may be Keiji's girlfriend. The girls disappearing from school may be running away to bright lights and big cities -- or they could be the prey of a cannibalistic sexual predator who may or may not be dead. And is that girl a superhero?

A dreamlike story skips through a dizzying array of perspectives, time elements and narrators. Boogiepop raises some interesting questions, but ultimately, there are far more questions than answers.

Comic Report: Colosuss: God's Country

Can you tell I'm on a serious comic kick lately?

Another Half Price Books find, I read this 1994 graphic novel after finishing The Death of Captain Marvel. Wow -- what a difference.

Peter, on vacation from the X-Men, heads into American's heartland for a little state fair action -- you know, get an elephant ear and a corndog, see the butter sculptures, fight an group of crazed anti-terrorists turned domestic terrorists ... the usual.

In typical "WE'VE GOT A MESSAGE" fashion, the writing beats the reader about the head and shoulders with its glasnost, "we're really not that different from each other" theme, culminating in a bizarre, "Red Dawn" meets "Night of the Living Dead" siege in a Kansas farmhouse.

Colossus is protecting a family from the generic "we used to be good guys, but now we're batshit crazy" villains, and I kept wondering three things: Why the annoying husband wouldn't just shut the hell up; why no one was punching said annoying husband in the mouth; and why didn't Colossus just march outside and go all ... Colossus on the bad guys.

Yeah, yeah, got to hide the mutant power and all, but you knew he was gonna do it *some time*, and if he had just gotten it over with he'd have saved everyone a lot of trouble.

Comic Report: The Death of Captain Marvel

A find at the local Half Price Books (what a marvelous store) this 1982 publication is the very first graphic novel ever made by Marvel -- history with pictures.

And what a way to start a new medium. A powerful, emotional story has the Kree captain turned cosmic hero facing a foe he can't defeat.

This was my introduction to Mar-Vell, but the strong writing hooked me almost instantly. Comics are a genre where death is taken far too lightly -- almost *everyone* has kicked it at least once, and generally, it's not that big of a deal. That's one of the genre's major failings, in my opinion. (And in the name of pie, leave Jean Grey in her grave!!!)

But this time, it was treated with the respect and seriousness it deserves. From Mar-Vell's anguish at leaving the woman he loves, to Rick Jones demanding answers from the world's heroes about why they haven't turned their collective genius to really saving people, this story was deep and deftly done. And when one of Mar-Vell's greatest foes arrives to give him a chance to die like a warrior ... pass the Kleenex.

Movie Report: "Ultimate Avengers 2"

Another animated Avengers flick, this 2006 offering has the gang helping Black Panther fight aliens invading Wakanda.

I like these movies because they don't tone it down for the kiddies. There's blood, there's death, there are real problems. Wasp and Giant Man's marriage *isn't* working out. Bruce Banner has to deal with the mess the Hulk made in the first movie. Thor may or may not help -- he's got god issues.

There are variations from some of the comic history you may know -- the elders council of Wakanda deserved a smack in the teeth. The action is top notch, though, even if it borrowed a bit much from "War of the Worlds." I like the movie's takes on Cap and Iron Man -- Tony, in particular, is much more likeable than the low-rent Hitler he's been in comics lately. It was especially nice to see the War Machine armor he dons after his Iron Man suit is damaged. But did he have to hit on someone at a wake?

One big issue: If you're gonna have Nick Fury look like Samuel L. Jackson, and act like Samuel L. Jackson, get Samuel L. Jackson to do the voice! It would have cost more than whatever no-name was in the part, but if they had asked nicely, I'm sure he would have given the producers a hand.

Comic Report: Runaways: Pride and Joy

When I heard that Joss Whedon is going to be taking over Runaways, I knew I would add it to my pull list. I'll read anything Whedon writes. Or is vaguely associated with. I am an official Whedon fangirl. "The Serenity Phone Book"? Sign me up!

But it never hurts to be familiar with the backstory of a comic that you're jumping into, especially if its been running for awhile. Thanks to Marvel for releasing the Runaways back issues in handy manga-sized trades.

Six kids from the L.A. privileged set find out their parents are really mass-murdering supervillains. Yeah, you thought your parents were bad. What else is there to do but run away from home and fight evil?

The characters fit into stereotypical roles -- the jock, the goth girl, the outsider, the cute kid, the peacenik and the brain -- but they're appealing and are quickly developing their own personalities. The story, which deals with the kids learning about their powers and having their first confrontation with their parents, is witty and well-paced.

Now their dealing with being runaways, being hunted by their parents and the vast network they control *and* learning how to be super -- do you take a codename? Do you make a costume? And who's getting dinner?

A preliminary attraction between Alex and Nico has real story potential. And Molly could develop into quite the scene-stealer -- once the other kids stop trying to hide everything from her.

Overall, this was fun with a bit of "Buffy" appeal. I'll be a regular reader.

Movie Report: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

I keep a list of all the things I need to review for you, most glorious readers. And I'm almost caught up! Go me!

"Borat" is so, so foul. It is so, so wrong. And it is so, so funny.

I've been a fan of Sasha Baron Cohen since "Da Ali G Show" was on HBO. (Check out the Ali G movie!)

"Borat" pushes the bounds of decency and good taste -- and then gleefully crosses them. There are parts that are horrifying in their lack of taste (the wrestling scene) -- but I was too busy laughing to be offended.

I have no sympathy for all the people suing and complaining about their portrayals in the movie. People let Cohen get away with stupid shit as Borat because he's "foreign." Because they think none of their friends will see them like this. Because it doesn't matter. And unfortunately, maybe because that's they way they really think.

There's a Borat bit in "Ali G" (not seen in the movie) where he gets an entire bar full of people in Arizona to sing a "traditional" Kazak folk song that recites different ways to kill all the Jews. And they do it. No one stops him and tells him that's hateful, or bigoted. They sing along.

The sad thing is, you can't fix stupid. "Borat" holds a mirror up to America, and we don't always like what we see.

Some of the "Borat" bits are obviously set-ups -- do you think he could have done that to Pamela Anderson without her bodyguards kicking his ass? Or that bears are common items for purchase? So yes, it has a *healthy* dose of fiction in its "reality." No more so than most reality shows on TV.

One warning -- if you've got problems with shaky camera work, like I do, you might want to pop an anti-nausea pill before you go. The production values are "authentic Kazak" -- which means they suck. It was appropriate for the film, but by the end, I was getting a little queasy. Or maybe it was the wrestling scene that sent me over the edge. Who knows?

Anime Report: Outlaw Star (Collection 1)

A bouncy space adventure, "Outlaw Star" is often compared to the masterful "Cowboy Bebop." But while "Bebop" has a gritty, noir feel, "Outlaw Star" is more "Indiana Jones."

Gene Starwind (who has a tendency to answer anything he doesn't like with a heartfelt "BITE ME!") is a self-proclaimed outlaw on a backwater planet. He thinks he's a fighter and a ladies man, but really, he's kind of a schlub. The best thing he's got going for him is his caster gun -- an antique that mixes science and sorcery. Good luck finding more bullets. It's Gene's uptight kid partner, Jim Hawking, who keeps them fed and alive.

An encounter with a lovely space pirate gets them off the planet and in possession of Malfina, an android with a mysterious past. The pirate -- Hot Ice Hilda -- is looking for a special ship that is able to reach a treasure hidden in the Galactic Leyline.

One thing about Hilda, who I really like. In her first appearance, she's trying to act all sweet and innocent. We were watching the English dub, and the first thing I thought was "That's the voice of Kusanagi. (Ghost in the Shell) She's *got* to be up to no good." Funny how things like that will influence you.

The first two discs deal with finding the ship, which is christened the Outlaw Star. Malfina starts showing how special she is -- she bonds with the ship's fussy A.I. and is also the key which makes the ship operate. Gene befriends the mysterious assassin Suzuka, who is twice as cool as he is; and the arms dealer Fred Lee, who's a screaming stereotype, albeit a funny one.

They also pick up a bunch of enemies -- a clan of mysterious space pirates, a hyperactive killer catgirl and MacDougall, who I haven't figured out yet. Now they're all chasing the Outlaw Star as it heads in search of adventure, treasure and lots and lots of money to pay all their back debts.

Comic Report: Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E. Volume 1: This Is What They Want

That's a whole lot of colons in that title!

Nextwave was recommended as one of the best comics I wasn't reading by a bunch of people at a forum I read daily and Nate, my favorite guy at Comic Carnival. So many recommendations were probably wrong, but I picked up the first trade anyway. (Yea for a nice hardcover with a dust jacket!)

I'm going to copy the amazon.com product description, because I can't put it any better than this:

The Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort, or H.A.T.E. (a subsidiary of the Beyond Corporation) put Nextwave together to fight Bizarre Weapons of Mass Destruction. When Nextwave discovers that H.A.T.E. and Beyond© are terrorist cells themselves, and that the BWMDs were intended to kill them, they are less than pleased. In fact, they are rather angry. So they make things explode. Lots of things. Starring Monica Rambeau (formerly Captain Marvel and Photon), Aaron Stack (Machine Man), Tabitha Smith (X-Force's Meltdown), monster-hunter Elsa Bloodstone and the Captain! Guest-starring Fin Fang Foom!

This is one of those comics that you read twice -- just to make sure you didn't miss anything. Then you quote it a lot ("Fin Fang Foom put you in pants!") and make all your friends read it too. It's that good.

There's plenty of pot-shots at Marvel conventions, great art that matches the irreverent style perfectly, a hysterical Nick Fury spoof complete with mommy issues and a drug habit, battle koalas and a giant green monster in purple underpants. What's not to love?

This is not the comic for you if you're looking for deep character development and lots of drama. If you want a drunken, human-hating robot, lots of explosions and Elsa Bloodstone kicking ass with a shovel, pick it up. It's got a spot on my pull list from now on.