Manga Report: Ai Yori Aoshi 15

Great googly moogly! This story has a plot??

Aoi is called away from the mansion suddenly when she receives word her father is very ill. But it's a trick -- Kaoru's half-brother (remember him?) locks her in the Hanabishi estate to try to woo her for himself.

It's very interesting how he uses some of the same lines Aoi did when she was first wooing Kaoru. "I was made for you." "I've spent all my life loving you."

The difference is that Aoi wasn't as creepy about it. And I think the terms of Kaoru's grandfather's will have more to do with his devotion than Aoi's gentle charms.

But Aoi must make the decision of her life; whether to marry the man she loves or the man her parents have chosen.

Of course, Kaoru and the gang don't know anything that's happening -- and Tina's about to graduate and leave Japan, maybe forever.

A short about Chika and her friends is forgettable and provides the majority of this volume's fan service -- you can skip it unless you're looking for the panty shots.

Movie Report: Big Trouble

Eh, what can I say? It was late, I was bored, and this 2002 movie was on Comedy Central.

A match made in mediocrity.

Tim Allen, desperately trying to get away from roles that don't feature kids or large dogs, plays a down-on-his-luck newspaper columnist turned advertising writer.

There are many things we journalists do when we burn out, and I'm ashamed to say that shilling for soap and soda is among them.

But some of us try to write novels, which is what Dave Berry, a former columnist for the Miami Herald, did. He wrote the book this movie's based on, and it's *obvious* that Allen's character is a placeholder for the author.

"Big Trouble" has the same sort of kooky, knockabout humor with a wink of movies like "Get Shorty." (Huh ... "Get Shorty" (the novel) was written by Elmore Leonard, who also writes ... wait for it ... newspaper columns!)

Both movies even have Rene Russo as the cool, calm babe of interest.

But there's cops and criminals and drunken security guards and kids with squirt guns and lots of misunderstandings and comic misdoings. And goats. We can't forget the goats.

But a major plot point involving amazingly inept airport security and a stolen nuclear bomb in carry-on luggage meant this movie got delayed for *months* after 9/11. I guess wacky hi jinks during hijacks weren't funny then.

Jason Lee gets a memorable turn as a tree-dwelling hippy who loves Fritos.

Funny in a late-night TV sort of way.

"My name is Puggy and I live in a tree. I hope I didn't ruin anything for you."

Book Report: Blood Bound

In my quest to find something to replace the Laurell K. Hamilton books that were one of my guilty pleasures, last spring I picked up Moon Called, a book by Patricia Briggs about a "skinwalker" dealing with vampires, werewolves, faeries and other assorted nasties.

The book was a fun read, so I snapped up the second in the series as soon as it was published.

Mercy Thompson is a "skinwalker," a condition that hasn't been completely explained. (appears to be hereditary) She can change into a coyote at will, and has some magic resistance, but all the other creatures of the night are, for the most part, bigger and badder than her. It also doesn't pay the bills, so she lives in a trailer and runs a little garage that specializes in fixing foreign cars.

That explains the "red neck, bad girl hawtness" on the cover. I so despise what they do to the covers of most of the books in this genre.

Mercy owes her vampire friend/client Stephen a favor, so she goes with him to check out a vamp who's in town without permission. Soon they realize that it's much more than a rogue -- there's a sorcerer turned vampire killing for kicks, and everyone's in trouble.

Vampires are fighting vampires, werewolves are fighting werewolves, Mercy's (and the unknowing human population) are stuck in the middle -- and even though everyone keeps reminding her how weak she is, she might be the only one who can save them all.

Briggs manages a few spots of genuine horror and dread, which is something a lot of books in this vein skip these days. Mercy's tough, likable and resourceful, and she's not scared to do what she has to -- even if that means karaoke in a faerie bar. And I really like Stephen -- but he's a vampire who likes Buffy and drives a van painted like the Mystery Machine, so of course I think he's cool.

A romantic subplot between Mercy and the two alpha werewolves supposedly battling for her affections falls flat, but I'm fine with that. I have my idea about who Mercy will end up with eventually, but please ... let's not get to the bedroom for a few more books!

Anime Report: Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge, Discs 1 and 2

Another gray market download by Rosebride and DR, this is the story of four impossibly beautiful guys who live in an impossibly beautiful mansion -- when they're not being chased by crowds of screaming girls.

In an effort to cut the rent, they make a deal with their kooky landlady -- if they turn her niece into the epitome of a perfect lady, they live in the mansion for free. If they fail, she triples the rent.

The problem is, the niece, Sunako, is a hopeless, hideous horror-movie addict who wanders around in shapeless gray clothes and a tangled nightmare of black hair. And she's happy that way!

We're playing around with the idea of beauty here. Sunako is actually pretty normal -- she was told she was ugly by a boy she cared about, and has since shunned all forms of beauty. The guys? Being perfect isn't all it's cracked up to be, as their looks continually get them into fights and trouble. Sunako shrinks from the "beautiful creatures," as she calls them, fearing that she will melt away in their radiance.

I liked the comedy and the snappy action, and there's an obvious romance brewing between Sunako and tough guy Kyouhei -- even though they claim to hate one another, and have epic battles in everything from martial arts to ping-pong.

And Sunako's great -- she's strong, smart and opinionated, and when one of her friends is wronged she turns into an avenging ass-kicker. So what if she likes to cook because she likes to play with blood and pals around with a skeleton and an anatomical model? Let the girl enjoy her slasher flicks in peace.

So far I've seen the first ten episodes, and I've enjoyed them all. Too bad Adult Swim has a prejudice against anything resembling shojo that's not Inu-Yasha -- something like this could be a lot of fun.

Movie Report: "Rear Window"

Props to my most beloved sweetie, who knows what I like and keeps me well-stocked with knitting books and Hitchcock DVDs.

This 1954 movie was a technical exercise for Hitchcock, with a massive set of a New York tenement built inside a soundstage. James Stewart plays a restless photojournalist who's stuck at home with a broken leg and a beautiful, socialite girlfriend (Grace Kelly) he's pretty sure he loves but isn't sure he wants to marry.

Bored and aggravated, he starts observing the people in the apartments outside his window. It's a harmless (but kind of creepy) game, for the most part, until strange happenings in one apartment make him suspect murder. But can he prove it? Or is he so desperate for a story that he'll make one up?

The vast majority of the action takes place in Jeff's apartment or is observed through his window -- that was the technical trick for Hitchcock. And we, the viewers, only see and know what Jeff sees and knows -- and he's a darned unreliable narrator.

Lavish visual detail, great use of sound, and nice character actors (Thelma Ritter gets a great role as Jeff's talkative nurse) fill out the story. And the suspense is classic Hitchcock. Be sure to watch as all the little dramas in the background find their resolutions.

Comic Report: She-Hulk: Time Trials

Hey Hawkeye -- aren't you dead?

OK, he was, at this point. He got better. Death isn't as big of a deal as its made out to be in comics

Jen gets mixed up in a trial involving jurors pulled from throughout time -- including a not-dead Clint Barton and one of my faves, Two-Gun Kid.

(I'm a sucker for Wild West stories and I read the "Marvel Westerns" mini last summer with glee.)

But Jen gets in trouble for trying to save Hawkeye from a death that's already happened, and ends up on trial herself -- and if she loses, she'll be retconned out of existence! Decent idea, but it's spoiled by a sappy ending I could have done without.

A better story is what happened to Jen during the year the law firm was out of business, and why is it that she's having trouble turning into She-Hulk? She's got some karmic debts to pay, and the bill is due.

Comic Report: Athena Voltaire: The Collected Web Comics

So I've been grooving on Athena Voltaire, and it's cool, retro vibe. So I couldn't resist a trade of her earlier, Web-published adventures.

The book has two stories: The Terror in Tibet and The Wrath from the Tomb. A little rough around the edges, somewhat abreviated for the Web form -- I'd have to say I like the current comic miniseries better. But it's a fun, fast read, and the second story, in particular, has Dracula's daughter (!!!) and reminds me of my beloved Universal monster flicks.

Nazis and occult menaces and monsters -- oh my! Worth a read if you love pulp adventures and tough chicks.

Movie Report: The Number 23

This must be what happens when a screenwriter starts flipping through conspiracy Web sites on day three of a six-day coke and Red Bull bender.

Jim Carrey plays a dogcatcher with shaggy hair and a sad-sack smile. Loving wife, cute kid ... a pleasant bohemian existence. All this changes when he starts reading a "novel of obsession" about the Number 23. Soon the book, and the number, have taken over his life.

It's easy to find the number 23, or almost any other number, around if you look hard enough. It's like playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon -- if you think hard enough, you can make any connection. But they don't necessarily mean a damn thing.

Twisty and enjoyable enough, but not execeptional. The production looks good with a muddy palette of reds, browns, creams and blacks. The numerous "23's" you can catch in the backgrounds are a nice touch. The acting is all pretty good -- Carrey knows how to play the crazy -- but script tends to patronize. Conspiracy-lite.

The book's final secret had me calling a bullshit, but the name of the "author"? I'm so stealing "Topsy Kretts" for a City of Villains character.

I found myself liking the Fingerling story-within-a-story sequences better than the main plot. Carrey pulls off the part of a tough-as-nails, sax-playing, sex-driven detective with a rakish charm, and the scenes have a nice, hazy-noir look. When the movie departs from this storyline to a more generic murder mystery, it starts to stumble.

Oh, and for those playing at home, I counted every 23rd word on Page 23 of the novel I had in my purse. Here's its secret message -- you tell me what it means. Bonus points if you can figure out what book it is.

"gesticulated time cycle trend says record for and with Phalanx with Crime"

Wait until cable.

You Knit What? The Dalek Invasion Continues

A good sale at Hobby Lobby and knitted Daleks will EXTERMIN-KNIT the world. :-)

Comic Report: How Frontline Should Have Ended

I've been reading Marvel's Civil War, but for the most part I've been trying not to blog about it.

There's some good, and some bad. Later issues such as FF 543 made the pro-reg side not be quite as much "Reed and Tony take the crazy train to facist town," but for the most part, both sides made some pretty huge mistakes. If Tony and Reed hadn't been so secretive and full of themselves, things would have gone down differently.

Then again, if Cap had Black Panther teleport the fight almost anywhere in the world *besides* downtown Manhattan, maybe the collateral damage issue wouldn't have been such a big deal. It's Panther -- he's got a big brain. He could have figured out the coordinates for the middle of the Nevada desert.

And as far as the whole Cap thing, well, the jury's still out. This could be some amazing storytelling or it could suck mightily. But I'll miss him. I'll miss what he stands for.

BTW -- who in pie thought it was a good idea to release the spoilers on CNN before most of the fans had gotten to the comic stores? Ruined my week. Haters.

But one of my big problems with the Civil War titles was the end of Frontline, which I had been enjoying. But then Sally has to spend one fight in a subway station, and all of a sudden she's gone from crusading investigator to soccer mom, ready to give up any freedom to feel "safe." Embarassing. And that pointless, brainless MySpace rant?

It's those kind of portrayals of journalists that make me want to tell people I work at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Here's how this scene shoulda gone down. Woot for Photoshop!

Book Report: "Magic's Price"

You want the emo? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE EMO!!!!

The final book in this trilogy was flawed, but still a satisfying conclusion to Vanyel's story.

We get a lot of wrap-ups in the first half of the book -- Vanyel and his family, Vanyel's unresolved feelings for Tylendel, etc. But Van, at this point, is drifting into "Mary Sue" territory -- he's beautiful, powerful, charmingly angsty, temperamental, loved by all, and the father of everyone's children (but still homosexual). Is all of that really necessary?

And Stefan is a much-needed change from the "we are soooo weighted down with all our responsibilities" main characters -- his relentless pursuit of Van is fun and charming.

I so could have done without the "reincarnation" sub-plot, though -- it was pointless and made Stefan somehow ... less of a person. Bah.

Oh, yeah, there was a plot, right? Someone's killing Valdemar's Herald-Mages. This is bad -- it's even worse because the non-Mage Heralds are being looked down upon by a populace that's been raised on the many songs about how wonderful and how marvelous and how powerful Vanyel is.

After the death of one of my favorite characters in the series (I saw it coming but it still hit hard -- it was a well-done scene) Van goes on the warpath.

And because he can't do anything halfway, he goes all blacker-than-black, everything must die emo. Carnage ensues.

One of the biggest problems of this book was the villain. No motivation, no characterization, just "ooh, I'm eeeeeeevvvvvviiiiiill!!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" No explanations about why he hates the Heralds or is Van's mirror opposite -- he just is. I've seen better thought-out characters running past my corrupter in City of Villains.

So yeah, seriously flawed. But a memorable, bittersweet ending redeemed Van, and with him, the series. I'll miss the emo bastard. ;-)

Movie Report: 300

This may very well be the artsiest guy movie ever made.

There's blood and gore and boobs and walls of bodies and decapitations -- and it's pretty. It's so, so pretty. Mass amounts of carnage have never looked so good.

The fight choreography is superb -- it's a brutal ballet. And you get a real feel of the camaraderie of this small, noble band.

To those who are bothered by the anachronistic woes, and there are many, I say: Don't watch a movie based on a graphic novel if you want a documentary! Geez people -- watch the movie, enjoy the story, do *not* worry about whether the Spartans had apples!

I don't know their fruit choices, and I don't care. Besides, if you're worried about details, have you *seen* the Roman temple and explosive crossbow bolts in Grendel?

I did wonder, though -- did the Persians come to Greece by way of Vegas? What was with the massive stage sets and gold lame? All Xerxes needed was a few dozen showgirls in feathers and he'd be ready to open at the Flamingo!

And there were so many shouts of "SPARTANS!!!!" that I was beginning to wonder if I was at a Michigan State pep rally.

But the "This is SPARTA!!!" scene was still damned cool.

Amazing visuals, beautiful colors, and when the music rises, you'll get a shiver down your spine. It's that cool. This is on the buy list.

You Knit What? EXTERMINATE!!!!!

So I have to wonder ... has anyone every looked at their needles and yarn and thought: "You know, the thing I want most in this crazy world is to make a shapeless, overblown monstrosity of a body covering with really, really big bobbles that will make me look like a classic Doctor Who villain."

Because really, what more can we ask of our clothing?

Daleks! Dominating the world of fashion, and then taking over the planet! It's all part of their nefarious plan!

You think I'm kidding, don't you! Well HA! I couldn't even make up something this hideous!



I don't know where to get this pattern, and I don't want to know. It's possible the United Nations has destroyed all copies in an effort to bring about world peace. Good luck.

Comic Report: She-Hulk: Superhuman Law

This volume starts off slow, with Shulkie being whisked away to be an intergalatic judge.

A couple of problems with this -- first off, her "sidekick" is still tedious and annoying. Couldn't they have left her on Earth? And while the covers are great, the interior art by Juan Bobillo still leaves a lot to be desired. She-Shrek in a short purple toga?? I could have gone a long time without seeing that.

And I understand She-Hulk is developing more power and has to learn to deal with it, but the dumpy track-suit "inhibitor" costume is one more in a long line of horrible fashion choices. Jen is friends with Janet Van Dyne -- can't Wasp give her a makeover?

Thankfully, the book gets a new interior artist (Paul Pelletier) with Issue 9, and picks up steam with a case where Hercules is sued for damages by a supervillain, and a major scenery-smashing throwdown with classic villainess Titania. Good idea to add backstory into this arc -- I've read Secret War, but its always nice to get a refresher course.

Comic Report: Runaways Vol. 6 - Parental Guidance

Molly gets separated from her friends, and must spend the night alone on the mean streets of L.A.

Luckily, she meets a new friend. But is he a hero or a villain?

And a new Pride arises to bedevil the Runaways -- and it's led by an enemy they never expected to see again!

This may be the best volume to date. Molly rocks, and to get a standalone story about her is pure fun. And the return of the Pride, while it does have its goofy moments ('80s white suits .... shudder) it culminates in the biggest battle yet and a shocking ending that will change the series forever.

Forget Civil War ... Marvel, give me more Runaways!

Movie Report: "Dr. X"

Wow, in 1932 two-strip Technicolor musta been the shizzy!

And it is used to good effect in this little horror flick, which is saturated in soft greens and browns and kinda creepy pinks and blues. It's a washed watercolor effect, and it is very atmospheric.

As for the movie? Eh. It's a whodunnit riddled with plot holes and saddled with a goofy reporter (Lee Tracy) who's got to wisecrack his way through almost every scene in the picture.

Someone's been killing women under the light of the full moon, which appears to be damn near every night in this crazy script. Clues point to the Academy of Surgical Research, which appears to be chock full of homicidal maniacs and would-be cannibals.

What to do? Pack everyone up and head to a creepy cliffside mansion and do mad science experiments designed to draw the killer out. (Why does the mansion have holes in the walls designed to pump knock-out gas through?) Oh yeah, don't forget to bring along the wisecracking reporter, a wacky supersitious maid and your nubile daughter, too -- that cannibal killer is gonna need some victims.

Fay Wray screams prettily, and Max Factor did the makeup, so it's darned good. The big tranformation scene at the end is great, especially when you remember it was made 75 years ago.

Synthetic Flesh!!!!!

Book Report: Magic's Promise

After the more-emo-than-emo fest that was Magic's Pawn, it took me a bit to pick up the second book in this trilogy.

Vanyel is older now, and he's the most powerful and experienced of the Herald Mages. He's a living legend -- songs are written about him, and everyone expects him to slay every demon and right every wrong.

He's still kinda emo.

Being a legend can be lonely. And he's still struggling to deal with Tylendel's death. Adding confusing feelings for Shavri, the healer who's lifebonded to the King *and* the mother of Van's child, just makes matters worse.

But I've found myself becoming terribly fond of Vanyel.

It's good he has Yfandes, the smart, funny Companion he can lean on. She's definitely not as stuffy as I thought most Companions were, and she adds a gentle humor to the book.

And I'm pleased with the progression of Jervis, Van's father's old armsmaster. He's not the bitter old bastard you might think.

Van's still got some of the same problems he had in Magic's Pawn, most notably, his family. They play a much bigger role in this book, as he spends a lot of his time at the family estate. But miracle of miracles, there's also a plot -- demons and magic and supernatural nodes of power and mysterious massacres -- oh my!

If you're into romantic fantasy, this trilogy is right up your alley. My fondness for Van, and for the Valdemar worlds as a whole, carried me over some plot bumps and over indulgences.

Bring the tissues -- it's a tearjerker.

Anime Report: Ai Yori Aoshi: Hugs and Kisses

Owie! Owie! Owie! This stupid English dub makes my ears bleed!

But other than that ... ;-)

The third disc of Ai Yori Aoshi adds another girl to Kaoru's harem -- spoiled heiress Mayu. But diverting from the manga, the anime goes into much more detail about Mayu's lonely and neglected childhood -- she was given everything she wanted except for her parents' love and attention. This makes her latching on to Kaoru much more plausible -- really, she's just a lonely child looking for someone who cares about her. She might have confused Kaoru's brotherly affections as romantic, but she's not the first or the last person to do something like that.

It also makes Mayu's grabbing onto to Kaoru much more dramatic -- she takes him home to her empty mansion, and insists he spend the night. They play cards and she falls asleep with a teddy bear, but this is a romantic comedy, and when Aoi hears that Kaoru's "spent the night" with another woman, she's understandably upset.

It gets worse when Mayu, after hearing Kaoru praise Aoi's domestic skills, insists on learning from Aoi. She calls Aoi "the caterer" and stomps on her feelings, but because Aoi has an almost superhuman ability to forgive, all is well in the end.

Tina, of course, hates Mayu on sight, and the feeling is mutual -- that means they'll end up best friends. (as readers of the manga, or this blog, already know)

Two more Aoi and Kaoru episodes are more fulfilling -- Aoi's birthday is on the Star Festival, when people make wishes for the coming year. A nice little "Gift of the Magi" tale -- Aoi wants Kaoru's attention, but he's spending all of his time working to raise the money to buy her a birthday gift, so he's never home.

And in "Feelings of the Heart," Aoi wears a brilliant pink kimono instead of her normal indigo on a date with Kaoru. The Kimono was her grandmother's, and "kimonos soak in all the feelings and emotions of their wearer. So to wear a kimono is to wear the feelings that the kimono felt." A sweet interlude away from the harem, Aoi and Kaoru end up in the apartment where the first spent time together, and Kaoru admits his true feelings.

So sweet it'll make your teeth ache, but I can't help liking it.