Movie Report: The Last Man on Earth (1964)

This severely underrated Vincent Price flick is the first film version of Richard Matheson's "I Am Legend."

And I don't know why more people don't know about it.

Price does an amazing job with the depressing day-to-day existance of the last man on an earth overrun by vampires/zombies. He spends the majority of the film reacting with nothing to play off of, but you really get a sense for the hopelessness of his existance. He lives simply to keep on living, and he doesn't know why.

Stark and minimalistic, the film goes for the jugular without ever resorting to histronics. Even the deaths of Price's wife and daughter are handled with a bleak, resigned dignity.

And for the film historians in the crowd, this movie was made *four years* before Night of the Living Dead. Yet you can see its influence in some of the most memorable scenes of NotLD, as well as in every zombie movie that's been made to date.

Creepy and absorbing. Check out this overlooked classic.

Why Peter Parker Shouldn't Dance

Or maybe, why this sequence shouldn't have been in Spider-Man 3:

Movie Report: Beowulf

In 3-D!!!!!!!!!!

Ever since I first read and fell in love with the epic poem, I've wanted to see a really good film version of the tale.

I'm still waiting.

But I will definetly put this one in the range of "doesn't suck." Way better than Grendel, in fact.

Visually, I thought it was very impressive. The 3-D effects were good without being too intrusive, and it was rare that the movie makers strayed into "Lookie! 3-D!" territory.

There is still a disturbing flatness to the faces (especially the eyes), though. It's something the technology needs to improve on to really catch on.

This is the same problem that made Polar Express the creepiest kids' movie ever made. Even the trailer gave me the willies because of the conductor's dead, dead eyes. It's slightly better in Beowulf, but Wealthlow in particular really suffered.

The absolute best effect in the movie is Grendel's mother's twitchy, sexy prehensile braid. Simple, but used with great effect.

In plot, Beowulf resembles the epic poem in parts, and veers off wildly in others. I will admit I don't understand *why* Neil Gaiman made some of the plot choices he did. Maybe he thought the poem wasn't enough like Desperate Housewives.

And parts of the dialogue were just laughable. The "I .. am ... BEOWULF!!" got real old real fast -- just give the dude a name tag already.

I did like that Beowulf (Ima here ta kill ya monstarr!) did rip off Grendel's arm, even if he had to smash it in a door to do it. But he does it in the weirdest nude wrestling match since Borat -- a few well placed swords and candlesticks are all that stand between this movie and an NC-17 rating.

In fact, if this movie is set in the far reaches of Northern Europe, where presumably it is *cold* for much of the year, why do so many people spend so much time wearing little or nothing at all?

Actually, even though I've already rambled on for quite some time, just go check out Unlocked Wordhoard. He's got all the info for ya, and can review this movie better than I can.

Because I was left with a lot of questions.

• Did Beowulf really lose an epic race becase he stopped to have sex with a mermaid?
  Exactly *how* does one have sex with a mermaid?
• If Grendel hated noise, why did he spend all his time screaming?
  Why weren't people smart enough to get off a bridge being smashed to bits by a dragon?
• What fun is it being king if you can't fight and you have to wear armored miniskirts all the time?
• Why did Beowulf need so much instruction on how to kill a dragon? Isn't "aim for the glowy spot" self-explanatory?

And most importantly ...

Why in the name of pie did Grendel's mother have HIGH-HEELED FEET????

Book Report: Dracula

This is a re-read for me. Every few years I've got to revisit it, like an old friend. Welcome back, Dracula -- you're still a great read.

And while Dracula is quite possibly the greatest horror novel ever written, it's also an enduring classic of Victorian literature.

You already know the plot (or at least you think you do) and most of the characters, so I'm not going to get into that. But understand that Dracula the novel is very different from most of the film versions of it.

It's very grounded in the Victorian mindset -- men openly show their emotions, weep, and exhibit great passion. If you were expecting the famed British stiff upper lip, you won't find it here.

And the men's reverence for the virtue and innocence of women (Lucy and Mina) is almost religious. And the Count doesn't hold any great passion for either of them -- Lucy is food, and Mina is revenge. He attacks her in retaliation for the destruction of some of his havens.

In the beginning, Mina sticks to the traditional female roles: worrying about her husband and his friends, crying in secret so they won't know, bringing cheer to their gatherings, yadda, yadda. But she possesses a will and intellect that's the equal of any of them, and eventually she's a valued and essential part of the team hunting Dracula. It's quite a liberated position for a woman of the time.

Another thing that's interesting about the novel is the lack of a clear protagonist. It's Jonathan Harker at first, but then it switches to being a story about the group of friends, with none of them taking a dominating role.

It helps that Bram Stoker is a genius of characterization -- the novel takes the form of a series of letters and journal entries, and through them you get to see all of the characters extremely well. Even minor characters such as Renfield (who was *not* Harker's associate, and *does not* work for the Count) are drawn clearly and distinctly.

Erotic without being overly sexual, bloody and shocking without steering into the gruesome, rich and complex, Dracula the novel is much more than the movies you know. It's an absolute must-read.

This night our feet must tread in thorny paths or later and forever the feet you love must walk in flame.

Movie Report: Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny

This is another movie where you either get it or you don't.

Now, I like Tenacious D, so I got it. Others might not be as cool as me. ;p

From a hysterical, over-the-top opening featuring Meatloaf as an abusive father, this flick rocks along as it alternatively worships and skewers rock gods and cliches.

Weird, wonderful and stuffed with cameos, this is possibly the only movie in existence that features both a dream sequence with Sasquatches (Sasquachi?) and a bit extolling the virtues of Satan. And if you're not familiar with Tenacious D, the music is surprisingly good -- KG and JB rock pretty hard even as their singing things like "Dude I really miss you."

And playing an electric guitar solo on a lute? Hardcore, yo!!

Well worth a watch.

Movie Report: Southland Tales

Whoa. Trippy.

Richard Kelly does not do simple, easily digestible movies (see Donnie Darko). But his moves do tweak your brain in some interesting ways.

This of this as a bunch of excellent YouTube clips strung together with a cast full of people you actually recognize. Yes, there's a story -- there are several, in fact, and they twist around one another like weeds -- but ultimately, I'm not sure the overall story is as important as the way the paths intersect.

Then again, this is the first time I've seen someone fire a Syrian rocket at a zeppelin while standing on an ice cream truck that's been lifted high over Los Angeles by the power of two identical souls touching, so I might be wrong.

This is the way the world ends ...

Movie Report: Galaxy Quest

It's rare that someone produces a sci-fi comedy; it's even more rare when a sci-fi comedy is danged funny with a good story as a bonus.

Clever, witty and surprisingly well-done, Galaxy Quest does a better job at being a Star Trek movie than any Trek movie in recent history.

Because Galaxy Quest gets *everything* right. It loves the fans as it mocks them. It delivers all the good bits while skewering the cliches. It actually ends up being *heartwarming* without being cloying, and I normally *hate* heartwarming flicks!

The geeks save the day. The good guys win. The bad guys provide entertainment for the masses. Everyone gets witty, quotable stuff to say. Stuff blows up.

And that, my friends, is what you want out of a movie like this.

Comic Report: Green Arrow/Black Canary: For Better or for Worse

So one of my favorite comic couples, Green Arrow and Black Canary, finally got around to getting hitched recently. After about ... oh, 35 years or so of dating.

And then Canary promptly stabbed him in the neck with an arrow on their wedding night.

Ah, comics -- you gotta love 'em.

Anyway, in celebration of the happy event, DC released a compilation of some of the best GA/BC stories.

Great idea -- lousy execution.

Because when I want to read a story, I want the *entire* story, dangit! Don't just print 10 pages or so with an editor's note! I get into a good Frank Miller story and we're clipping along and WHAM!

Where's the rest?

And there's not even anything here from the Brave and the Bold team books or Green Arrow's adventures with Green Lantern, and that's where this romance started in the first place!

So while I enjoyed the things that *were* reprinted here, it just left me wanting more.

Comic Report: The Avengers: Kree-Skrull War

Three cows ... shot me down!

It seems that I'm romping in comic history this week. First the X-Men, and now it's a classic Avengers run that was one of the first *epic* storylines.

This story, originally published in Avengers 89-97 (first published in 1971-72), finds the Earth in the middle of an intergalactic war. The Kree and the Skrull hate one another, and if the destruction of a planet neither of them care about will help them destroy each other, it's all good.

And it's up to the Avengers to save us all.

Now, these are the cool Avengers. The ones that work together and save the day and try to be heroes once in a while. Not like today's Avengers, who mostly bicker, fight each other and get beat senseless by petty villains like the Hood.

While these Avengers have their issues (Captain Marvel is a Kree, which means he either has to betray the planet he's come to call home or his native race; Hawkeye's struggling with being a "normal" on a team of super powered heroes; Vision is trying to deal with the conflict between his android nature and his growing love for Scarlet Witch) they don't let it get in the way of the bigger goal. They get the job done. That's very important.

I'd like to see some of today's emo babies in capes take a page from the old school.

The dialogue is a bit dated, of course, and there's too much of a reliance on pseudo-science. But it was the 1970s. I'll let them get away with it. Because not only is this an iconic story, it's danged fun to read, even 35 years later.

Quite possibly the essential Avengers story.

Comic Report: Uncanny X-Men in the 1960s

OK, Uncanny X-Men through 1970, if you want to get correct about it.

The first run of the series, 1-66, ran from 1963-1970, when the title was cancelled due to low sales.

As you might be able to tell, I got an itch to start learning my comic history. Having access to a pieload of old comics on DVD-ROM, I chose to start with the Uncanny X-Men.

Everyone knows the X-Men. But I didn't really know their stories. I've heard about the Phoenix saga, and I've seen the cartoon and movie versions, but I wanted to actually read the stories and really get to understand these characters. So I called up Issue 1 and started from there.

This team was really different when it first launched. First off, you have the entire idea of "mutants" being introduced. No irradiated spiders, cosmic storms, aliens or gifts from the gods here -- these people were born *different.*

And so many people fear what is different. Prejudice and bigotry were strong themes in the beginning of the X-Men, and that has continued for more than 40 years.

While the Stan Lee/Jack Kirby writing in the early issues strays into the cheesetastic (I started to giggle every time Cyclops said "Damn my mutant eyes!") the stories are exceptional. Magneto, the ultimate X-Men villain, is introduced in the very first issue, which also sets up the concepts of "good" mutants protecting humanity from the "evil" ones.

Other signature characters and concepts introduced very early in the series include the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver (their struggle with which side to support is a major plotline), the Blob (who just wants to be left alone), Juggernaut, Toad, Unus, Ka-Zar, the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, Asteroid M, the Sentinels, the Trask family, Cerebro, the Savage Land -- it's amazing how much was crammed into these stories!

So who are the X-Men?

Professor Xavier -- You see the hints of petty tyrant in Charles in these early stories. Yes, he cares about his students (even harboring an unrequited love for Jean) but he loves ordering them around. And he's far more likely to pull stunts like wiping memories, overt mental control or rewriting someone's life (poor Blob). He's got the power, and he's gonna use it. Ethics don't seem to be a big concern.

Interestingly enough, he's also got a cybernetic harness that allows him to walk in a limited fashion, but that disappears after a few issues after it appears.

Marvel Girl -- Sweet, unassuming and the girl that everyone's crushing on. Jean rarely gets to be the one that saves the day. It's far more likely that she's the one who's got to stay in the back with the Prof. The weakest of the team, she's the costume maker and the cookie baker.

And while her "will-they-or-won't-they" romance with Cyclops takes up *a lot* of time, I found myself warming to Jean. Knowing what happens to her, it's interesting to see how different it is from where she started.

Cyclops -- Desperate to prove himself worthy of Xavier's trust, desperately in love with Jean, and in desperation over his "damn mutant eyes." Cyclops never seems to get a break, but he's a strong leader, and it is these early stories that define who he is today.

Beast -- this was before any of the secondary mutations turned him into the blue, furry beast you know and love. Now he's a kinda goofy looking guy with big feet and a big brain. Happy-go-lucky and prone to hanging out in beatnik bars (it was the 60s, yo!) Beast just wants to have a good time.

Iceman -- Bobby is younger than the rest and wants to prove himself. He's also the most likely to pull stupid stunts and mess up, just to remind us he's young.

Angel -- Rich, handsome and he can fly! That's it -- just fly. All that other stuff comes later. He plays a role in the Cyclops/Marvel Girl romance, but Angel gets too few chances to shine.

What about the stories?

Like I said earlier, a lot of the concepts and characters that appear again and again in the X-Men make their debuts here.

We get a lot of "bad mutant, good mutant" bits early. The first stumble is the addition of former bad guy Mimic to the team (to replace an ailing Angel), but that is quickly rectified and Mimic becomes the first X-Men booted from the roster. But it's the issues with Magneto, the Brotherhood and Juggernaut that really stand out.

There's a major misstep in Issue 42, when Xavier kicks the bucket! The FBI (???) swoops in and kicks everyone out of the mansion, and the team is split up. Jean and Scott are in New York, Beast and Iceman in Cali, and Angel presumably had enough cash to go wherever he damn well pleased.

So we stumble around for a while with duo books, and nothing fits quite right. It's the introduction of Polaris as "Magneto's daughter" that gets the team back together. And Issue 50, with the striking change in cover style, becomes the first "modern" X-Men comic, IMHO.

One of the things that might have killed this series in its early days was the blatant retcons. Magneto dies -- coupla times -- and gets sent into space "forever" once. But somehow, he's always back in a few weeks.

Death's cheap in an X-Men comic, but c'mon!

And I really, truly believe that the writers *intended* for Xavier to die. When he comes back in Issue 49, he's got some lame-ass story about having switched places with a shapechanger off-camera.

I don't buy it. I went back through the issues in which Changeling appears, and there is *no* hint that he does a switcheroo with Xavier, or even that he wanted to be a do-gooder! So I don't buy the line that he knew he was dying so he wanted to play cripple for a while.

The writers killed off Xavier and split up the team. It didn't help sales, so they brought 'em back together. End of story. Own up to it.

And the alien invasion (the Z'Nox) that Xavier was supposedly in seclusion to find a way to defeat? Lame. It was far overshadowed by the storylines introducing Polaris and Havok.

In fact, with those two notable exceptions, the book never really finds its feet again after the breakup. Maybe it was better to put it to bed with Issue 66.

Because while the characters were the stuff of comic history, maybe even history needs a break once in a while.

Comic Report: Teen Titans: The Future Is Now

Back to the big stories.

There are two storylines in this volume of Teen Titans, and they very may well be the ones that define the series.

In Titans of Tomorrow, the Titans are sent 10 years into the future, where they are confronted by a much darker version of ... them. Not only is this a great story where the kids confront what they might become, it also offers a lot of hints that point toward Infinite Crisis and even some things that could happen after Infinite Crisis. In all a great story.

And in Lights Out, we get some of the repercussions from Identity Crisis. Dr. Light is back -- and he's got his full power again.

Now he wants revenge for the years of being a plaything for the heroes' children -- and he'll get it by destroying the Titans.

A bevy of past Titans reunite to fight the threat, and it's cool to see them all get handed their collective butts by someone they used to dismiss as moronic.

Simply great. Even if you don't decide to read all of the Teen Titans trades, this might be one to pick up.

Comic Report: Teen Titans: Beast Boys and Girls

If the name didn't give it away, the focus is on Beast Boy in the third volume of Teen Titans.

First we get a reprint of a Beast Boy mini from 1999. Gar's on his own in L.A. and trying to make it in acting. Unfortunately, someone's killing off people linked to his old TV series, and they want to hang the rap on a certain green guy.

It's a fun little story with lots of drama and humor. I especially liked Teen Titan wannabe Flamebird. Bette may not have the best hero skills around, but she's got heart and charm and a crush on Robin that just won't quit.

Then we jump back into the current Teen Titans timeline with an attack by a new villain -- the Zookeeper. Zoo's an old acquaintance of Beast Boy's now deceased parents, and he's infecting every kid in San Francisco with the virus that made BB what he is today!

There's some good butt-kicking here, but Zookeeper doesn't really catch me as a cool bad guy. This felt like filler.

Poor Gar -- all he wants is to be a star.

Comic Report: Teen Titans: Family Lost

OK, so there's a new Brother Blood (again). This time he's a petulant teenager with *severe* Mommy issues and he wants Raven to be his bestest girl. Forever.

The theme here is fathers and daughters. Raven's trapped in a situation she doesn't want to be in and can't control because of who her father is. But having a demon for a daddy has to have some serious drawbacks.

And then there's Deathstroke. He's still cranky over what happened in the first story arc. He's got a daughter too, but Rose has been kept away from him her entire life.

Since he can't have his son back, he'll have his little girl, one way or the other. I had some serious sympathy for Rose, who gets severely f'ed over (but gets a cool new costume in the process).

Like Runaways and Young Avengers, these teenaged heroes rock. Check 'em out.

I Made It! Rose's Wristwarmers

Yes, I am enough of a geek that I fandom knit.

The above is an image from the "Doomsday" episode of Season Two of the new Doctor Who. Rose had some rockin' knitwear throughout the show (and I still like her better than Martha) but I really, really liked the fingerless gloves that she wore in this scene.

It was a good scene. I cried. I coveted knitwear.

Luckily, I was not alone. A Doctor Who fan named Christina Slattery also coveted knitwear, and she was talented enough to make a pattern for the wristwarmers after studying the screengrabs.

I grab two balls of Jo Sharp Alpaca Kid Lustre and we're in business.

This was a pattern of firsts for me. First time using itty bitty bamboo double pointed-needles. First time doing elaborate cables in the round.

And first time I had to restart a glove *four danged times* before I got it right! There was much, much swearing.



I'm very happy with the finished result (even with the laddering that I couldn't stop due to the placement of the cables), but if I make them again I'll make a few changes.

These are very close-fitting, and I think I'd like them a bit splooshier. So I'd go up a needle size or two, or even consider switching to a worsted weight yarn. And I might made them a bit longer over the hands for extra warmth.

But cool fandom knit! Go me!

Comic Report: Teen Titans: A Kid's Game

Since I'm starting to be a fan of Geoff Jones' writing, a friend recommended I check out the most recent relaunch of Teen Titans. (Note: The comics bear little resemblance to the mangaed-out Cartoon Network series.)

Kudos to Amazon.com for having some good discounts on graphic novels. Check it out before you pay full price.

The new series starts with a new team. Starfire, Cyborg and Beast Boy reunite and recruit new kids Robin (the Tim Drake version), Superboy, Wonder Girl and Impulse (who renames himself Kid Flash). Raven joins later (after she gets her body back).

This is a likable bunch. This was really my first major interaction with the new Robin, and he's very cool. And I know that Kid Flash didn't have a lot of fans, but I find him fun in an annoying kid brother kind of way. At least he's *trying.*

Superboy's rocking the emo, but being a clone with two daddies *and* have the great Boy Scout attempt to cheer you up by giving you *Krypto* the super dog has gotta be a drag.

Jones starts the story out with a bang. The new team hasn't gelled, but Deathstroke is there with a simple message -- Kids shouldn't wear capes. And he's going to get his point across, even if it means killing someone.

Oh yeah -- I'm sure that the fact one of his kids (Jericho) died when he was doing the hero thing with the Titans doesn't color Deathstroke's opinion at all. Right.

But I dig the "once a Titan, always a Titan" vibe, and it was cool seeing the kids stand up to Wonder Woman and spit in her eye.

Fun, full of action and with a danged good story. Don't pass Teen Titans by because you think its for kids.

Movie Report: Spider-Man

Another movie I'll watch again and again -- nice without being so spectacular that it distracts from my knitting.

The good thing is that it's not just special effects. The acting is strong, and we get a good sense of both Spidey's joy when he's web slinging (the first time he does is one of my favorite scenes) and the general pathos that is Peter Parker's life. A little bit of emo, but a lot of four-color fun.

The bad thing is Green Goblin's costume. Who in pie thought turning him into the Green Ranger was a good idea? It blows, and it's doubly disappointing because Willem Dafoe has such a great range of expressions. He could have pulled off the part without the helmet!

The story is *loosely* based on the original, because Hollywood never saw a comic book it didn't want to rewrite. But it captures the *spirit,* and that's enough for me.

One of the better comic adaptations. Watch this one and the stellar Spider-Man 2, save the third flick for when you're drunk or want to laugh.

Comic Report: Alias 1-28

I first encountered Jessica Jones in The Pulse, a short series detailing her work at the Daily Bugle and pregnancy. I dug the character, so I wanted to read more.

The omnibus edition of this series is out of print (and out of my price league) so I was stoked to find this entire series on eBay for about $20. Bagged and boarded and in VF-NM condition, even. Go eBay!

Jessica Jones may have some superpowers, but she isn't a super hero. She's an alcoholic, foul-mouthed (This series launched Marvel's MAX line and they delight in tossing around f-bombs) depressed, self-destructive private detective whose life is full of dysfunctional relationships and one-night stands.

At least she tries to do the right thing. Sometimes.

But even as she swears up and down that she's not a hero, she doesn't want to be a hero and she's not cut out for the world of heroes, she can't get away from them. She gets a case that involves Captain America's secret identity. She does jobs for Matt Murdock. She sleeps with Luke Cage. She dates Ant-Man (the Scott Lang version). She lunches with Ms. Marvel. She investigates missing mutants.

Jessica just can't get away from supers. Because she used to be one.

Uhh, NOT! Here's a favorite trick of writer Brian Michael Bendis. Make a new character, and retcon them into having been a key part of the Marvel Universe all along. It works with Jessica (went to school with Peter Parker, almost became an Avenger). Other times that Bendis has done it (Sentry, the Hood) -- I just want to kick his teeth in.

So there never was a perky teenaged hero in the 80s named Jewel. And she didn't disappear mysteriously. Except now there was, and she did.

Get it?

OK, unless you're a comic fan you don't. Let's move on.

Continuity issues aside, this is a simply fabulous comic for grownups. Bendis' writing is real, gritty and practically perfect. This is my favorite work by Bendis, and Jessica is one of my favorite characters in the Marvel Universe. (And she's probably a Skrull. Sigh.)

The art by Michael Gaydos has a urban, rough edge that reminds me of Frank Miller, but works for this project.

Just how good is Alias? Bendis takes a third-string, lame-ass villain like the Purple Man and makes him cool. Not only cool, but SCARY. I was very impressed.

With the current direction of the Marvel Universe (Civil War, the Skrull plot, etc.) there are a handful of series that *everything* goes back to. Alias, the little book that no one read, is one of those. There are a lot of answers here.

So read it if you're a Marvel fan, or read it if you're not. Because this is simply amazing comic art.

Comic Report: Batman: The Long Halloween

Oooh, this was a good one.

An epic nod to Batman: Year One, The Long Halloween follows a series of murders that occur on holidays. A young Bats is there to try to solve the crimes, which revolve around a crime boss named "The Roman."

We get to see a lot of interesting things here. You start to see the supervillains taking over from organized crime. You see Batman struggling with a crime his great detective skills can't crack. And you get a lot of a young Jim Gordon and Harvey Dent (foreshadowing abounds!) and their troubled relationships with their wives.

Even though the graphic novel clocks in at more than 350 pages, it is tight and well-crafted, with no filler. Each of these 13 issues means something, and I was flipping back and forth as clues were revealed to see if they had been hinted at in previous issues. For the most part, they were.

The art has a noir feel without being too gritty, and Poison Ivy's appearance is as trippy as it should be. This was a great read, and I'm pleased to say I didn't predict the killer 100 pages before the end. It's nice to not always know what's coming in a mystery.

I'm going to call this an essential read for Batman fans. It'll help if you know your Gotham history first, but if you don't, it's still a damn good detective story.