Movie Report: Grindhouse

That sound you hear is this show blowing my freaking mind!!

If you like blood, guts, sex, violence, action, etc., you MUST see this movie and you MUST see it in the theater. It was an event with a crowded theater -- people were shouting, squealing, yelling back at the screen -- it added to the experience.

First up was a trailer for "Machete," starring Danny Trejo as a homicidal illegal immigrant.

Then comes Robert Rodriguez's "Planet Terror." Nasty, bloody, gory and so, so funny, "Terror" gleefully exploits all the pulp stereotypes. Plot holes big enough to drive a truck full of zombies through, missing reels, intentional scratches and dust on the print and a hot chick with a gun for a leg ... this was a roller-coaster ride of pure fun. You'll laugh, you'll groan, you'll cringe ... a lot. If you're so inclined, you will lust after Rose McGowan.

And the crazy babysitter twins rock, and the bit with the mini-bike had me cracking up.

There were also a lot of "omg, did they just show that??" moments -- this movie is a complete gross-out in points. I never, ever, ever, want to think about Quentin Tarantino's privates again.

Next up, more trailers. Rob Zombie's "Werewolf Women of the SS" was the weakest of the bunch -- how do you spoof something that's a spoof to begin with? "Don't" evoked the classic Hammer horror of the '60s. Don't ... see it alone. Don't ... take it seriously.

And "Thanksgiving," dang, director Eli Roth needs therapy. Stat. Some of those images (the knife on the trampoline, the "turkey,") ... that was sick, yo!!

And ah, "Death Proof." Now, I am a Quentin Tarantino fan. I love his dialogue and his seemingly endless stream of pop culture references. I love how you can see his obsession with film and filmmaking in every shot.

"Death Proof" does not disappoint.

The set-up is very talky, true, but it's a Tarantino picture. The characters are gonna talk ... a lot. But you really get the feel for his world and his characters, and then the action just blows the roof of this sucka!

Kurt Russell is perfect as Stuntman Mike. Zoe Bell is an action goddess. The second chase scene may be the best ever filmed, and the violent, nasty ending had people in the theater cheering and throwing things at the screen in joy.

I can't wait to buy this DVD.